Don’t It Make You Mad About It

Posted on Oct 25, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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I wasn’t going to talk about this. 

But then this came out today:

photo
So clearly, there are some things we need to discuss. 

Let’s just put it right out there- this has got to be the worst celebrity wedding magazine cover photo of all time.

There. I SAID IT. 

To be fair, I may be slightly biased, because I sort of already hated them to begin with. 

Okay, that sounds bad. Hate is bad. I don’t know them or anything. Plus hatred implies that I feel that strongly towards them. I don’t. Personally, I have always found them separately irritating and now super boring as a couple. I was never an N*Sync fan and I couldn’t tell you one movie of hers that I have ever liked.

So when I found out these two were getting married this past weekend in Italy, I could have cared less. I mean sure, I devoted the appropriate amount of attention (a singular Facebook status) out of respect for the sanctimony that is a celebrity union, but it’s not like I was holding my breath waiting for these pics or anything. And given the private (cough cough boring) nature of their courtship and engagement, I certainly never thought we’d see a Kardashian-sized spread in People of all places. 

But enough about them. Can we please talk about this photo?

I’m having trouble gathering my thoughts about everything that is wrong with it. I think a formal list is in order:

1. The biggest elephant in the room. Or should I say bird. Or pterodactyl. What the eff is he doing? Here she is, on her wedding day, just lounging on the ground (?!?!?!) in her best Giambattista Valli, getting her bridal portrait done, and BAM! Girl looks like she’s seconds away from getting her train squashed by the D*ck In a Box guy. In fact when I first saw this picture I thought it was an outtake from a Lonely Island video. 

photo

2. She looks like a cross between a doll and a robot. He looks like he’s at a frat party. I find it hard to believe these two were at the same event, let alone agreeing to spend their foreseeable future as husband and wife. I’m all for fun wedding photos, but in order for this to work, both people need to be having the fun. 

3. Dude, you’re wrinkling your Tom Ford tux. TOM FORD. Show some manners. 

4. You can’t tell me that these two aren’t big enough that they couldn’t have forced People to hold off on the Sandusky victim for another week. Because nothing screams “I do” like a big fat expose on one of the grossest perverts of all time. And it’s right next to her face. It’s like a horribly placed thought bubble. 

5. I’m sorry, but is anyone else dying over the Britney photo in the corner? Don’t get me wrong- based on my previous opinions, I am actually sort of loving this. But if you were the new Mrs. Justin Timberlake, wouldn’t you just die? That would be the only thing I would see. Again, like there was no other spot for a Britney photo other than on eye level with JT. These two are the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston of the pop music world. I mean, Brad Pitt has six children with another woman and Jen is engaged and still, no one can just let it go. And most of us will never get over these two either. I hope someone wakes Brit Brit up long enough for her to comprehend what has happened here and laugh. Even she’s like, “y’all, what am I doing here?”

photo

6. You’re telling me that the chick with the man voice from Total Recall, The A Team, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Blade 17 or whatever wanted to wear bubblegum pink on her wedding day? No wonder she looks so out of place. Also, why are people still trying to make colored wedding dresses happen? We all know that there’s really only one person that can get away with this look.

photo

~L


Published under: ... at Celebrity Scandal

MMM: Maine Edition

Posted on Oct 23, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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First of all, thank you to everyone who has asked about the absence of Mall Madness Monday posts. All two of you really made me feel special that you felt there was a void in your life by missing out on pictures of things that I don’t need/can’t afford.

For those of you that have no idea what is about to happen, prepare yourselves. 

I decided to do a special edition of MMM this week in honor of Steve and my little getaway Maine trip. If you are dying to know about all the exciting things we discovered in towns like Brunswick and Bath (and let’s face it, that is at the top of your priority list) you can visit this post, and then this one too.

We actually spent quite a bit of time shopping on this trip. Now before you get all excited for me, know that it wasn’t exactly my kind of shopping. I mean there wasn’t a Forever 21 in sight. Ironically, when I finally convinced Steve to take me to the J. Crew outlet, he was the one that came out with a purchase. What a jerk. 

Here are some things I found particularly intriguing on this trip. Keep in mind that they’re all pretty much from LL Bean or a crazy antique mall.

deconstructed signs are totally in right now. steve hates when i
say stuff like that, but he really can’t get mad at me because i
learned it from all of his pawn picker antiques roadshow programs.

i may have mentioned that i’m obsessed with vintage typewriters.
also pillows.

this game is exactly what it sounds like. it’s just a series of cards
with facts about different authors & kids have to guess who it is.
how this enthralling game has ended up on the bottom shelf in
an antique mall blows my mind. i mean there is just so much fun
to be had. 

this is the one thing i actually like about antique stores: vintage
postcards. they had a bajillion of them here, all divided by states
& themes & such. somehow i spent $38 on postcards. it’s an addiction.

ugh. i died a little over this one. ll bean suede riding boots, at the
outlet, on clearance. and yet, i couldn’t convince steve to let me buy
them. it may have had something to do with the fact that i was
wearing black boots at the time, so he didn’t see the necessity. oh,
also i had packed two other pairs as well. note to self- no one will
ever buy you new boots if they had to help you pack three pairs for a
three day trip. 

steve & i are nowhere near home ownership, but we decided that
when we are, we need lamps like this for our front door. except
we both agreed that $395 is a little pricey for a single lamp.
point, marriage.

i’m not sure what occasion a boot card is appropriate for, but i find
these adorable none the less.

i want all the vintage jewels. all of them. 

no, this is not an antique. these are dice stools (or end tables?) from
the ll bean home store. obviously i need this to match my S&P shakers.

So what items did I actually cross the border with? Besides an exorbitant amount of vintage postcards, I also picked up an “L” necklace made from an old typewriter key (see? Again with the typewriters). Oh, and I may have accidentally purchased a $40 lobster charm. I’m definitely going to be paying for that one for a long time. Steve has mentioned it to me at least once a day since we’ve been home, and that was a week ago. 

~L

Published under: ... at Mall Madness Monday

Some Folks Like to Get Away Pt. 2

Posted on Oct 22, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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When we last left our heroine, Lindsay was barely still standing after a rousing three hour tour of the Maine Maritime Museum. After starting to show sign of extreme hangriness (for those that aren’t medical professionals, being “hangry” is an affliction caused by hunger that leads to anger), Steve finally recognized that she needed nourishment and human interaction. 

Ugh, my apologies for all the third person narrative. Even I can’t pretend I’m okay with that. 

We set off for one of the “Maine” attractions (GET IT?!) on our getaway:

cue the hallelujah chorus. for steve anyway.
I would just like to say despite the fact that I am not very outdoorsy, I actually like going to the Freeport L.L. Bean. It’s really amazing. It’s basically the Disney of the outdoors world… you know, besides actually being outdoors. 

Of course, I had to dress appropriately. That calls for flannel.


But like the museum, whatever slight interest I have is by no means any comparison to what Steve feels for it down in the depths of his soul. I mean, just imagine if you finally felt like you returned home:

is that not the face of man overwhelmed by sheer happiness?

I was actually really excited, because like the Girl Scouts and Fenway Park, the Bean is also celebrating it’s 100th anniversary this year. They had tons of cute celebratory things. 

wait, they sell food here too?
tiny boots

Steve had also been waiting to finally see the Signature collection in person. And let’s just say, he was pretty excited.

money can buy happiness. for $250.

They even turned a section into a kind of pop up museum. Obviously this is where we spent a large portion of our time. 

joy.

Despite the fact this store is open twenty four hours a day, we were not there long enough for Steve to actually decide what he was going to purchase. I can see how that would be difficult when you have to choose between forty pairs of boots with the slightest variations. Which meant…

We were coming back the next day. 
this is the closest to us getting a picture together this whole time.

We checked out of our hotel and headed straight to The Wild Oats Bakery for lunch, because we were so overwhelmed by the amount of food options the day before that we knew we had to return. We still had trouble deciding… so we just got everything.

you haven’t really lived if you’ve never had a grilled goat cheese sandwich.

I had learned from the previous days that I needed to load up on carbs whenever I had the opportunity, because day trips with Steve sometimes means five hours without a solid meal. 

Before making our last Bean stop, we had a slight detour. That somehow involved the biggest indoor flea market I had ever seen. 


Okay, I guess it’s called “antiquing.” Or as I know it “finding dirty old things that make me sneeze.”

I’m half kidding. I actually found some cool things. But everything was so dusty and I couldn’t breathe and again, we were there for a solid three hours. But more on that tomorrow. 

Back to the Bean. After much deliberation, Steve finally picked out his perfect pair of boots:

all mine, baby.

These aren’t just any boots, though. These are the 100th Anniversary special edition Bean boot. You know they’re special because they have red soles. You know, just like Louboutins. 

It was love at first sight.

is this love that i’m feeling…


And me? I met this bird. We developed a very special bond.

Just kidding. It was a good time. But I really did take like twenty pictures of that bird. 

~L


Published under: ... at Not So Everyday Things, ... at Picture Taking

Some Folks Like to Get Away

Posted on Oct 20, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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Remember a few weeks back how I said that Steve and I don’t have regular schedules, therefore rarely spend time together other than having dinner at 10:00 pm? We agreed it was high time to fix that and decided to go away for a weekend. Which for us, meant Sunday-Tuesday. 


We decided to get away for a few days somewhere cheap (thank you, Groupon, for allowing poor folk everywhere to get hotel rooms and go out to dinner for pennies while making us feel fancy), close (because it doesn’t matter how inexpensive the room is if you can’t afford the gas to get there) and with the perfect mix of activities (for him, obviously) and relaxation (for this girl right here). 

So of course, we went to Maine! 

Now Steve and I have very different ideas of what a Maine getaway should be. I grew up going to Old Orchard and York Beach, so I have an affinity for boardwalks, day trips to outlet malls, and as my mother calls it, “honkey tonk.”

Steve prefers places that claim to be part of “America” but are really moonlighting as Canada. 

So we met in the middle/wherever Groupon would guide us. Which was Brunswick. 

We arrived first at the lovely Captain Daniel Stone Inn. You’re going to have to take my word for it, because I didn’t take a single picture of the hotel room, because the second I opened my suitcase it exploded and the room looked like a disaster until 10:59 Tuesday morning. I did appreciate the fact that they were rocking it old school giving us an actual key. When was the last time you even saw one of these at a hotel?!


Later, we called my friend Amy and basically invited ourselves over for dinner, which she and her husband were totally fine with because we hadn’t seen them since their wedding last October. You may remember their nuptials because it inspired the only episode I’ve ever suffered of a fear related exercise routine in order to fit into a certain bridesmaid dress for their wedding. 

The next day, we embarked on our Maine adventure. It began in what I guess you would call the “downtown” area of Brunswick where we discovered our new obsession: The Wild Oats Bakery. In case you were wondering, myfitnesspal was not invited on this vacation. Because everywhere we looked, we saw this:

And this:

Also, this:

I was in a food coma and I hadn’t even eaten anything yet. We quickly decided that we would enjoy breakfast that day, come back for lunch tomorrow and also get desserts for the ride home. Hello, vacation.

I settled on a cinnamon bun the size of my head. I also fed my brain with some classic 80’s Trivial Pursuit that they provided on every table.  
From there we continued on to… Bath. Yes, this is an actual town. Actually, it reminds me more of a village. I can tell the difference, as I went to college in a village for a year and a half (shoutout, Cazenovia!). Remember Stars Hollow, the beloved fake town that provided the perfect setting for a plethora of mother/daughter shenanigans on Gilmore Girls? It was like but without all the teen mothers. At least I assume so. It was cold and rainy, so Main Street wasn’t exactly teeming with locals. It was cute though, so I took advantage of all the quaint photo ops. 


Bath is known for making boats and iron working. So of course they had their very own Maine Maritime Museum. At first, I was totally gung-ho for this because believe it or not, I actually do like history. Not like, Steve’s level of history, but it was one of my favorite subjects in high school. Plus, I could only imagine the sheer amount of nautical artifacts. 

This may have been a mistake. Steve warned me that he couldn’t just go into a museum like a normal person. I already knew this, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to throw a little culture into this trip. 

Three hours, one hundred and twenty eight pictures and one very grumbly stomach later, we finally left. There were some things that were really cool. You know, if you like fish and boats and stuff.

if only.

signed by two presidents. fo real.

that thing on the right is from the front of an actual boat. also it probably has a real name.

steve said he wants this above our bed. like i can handle that after the ship wheel.

But there was also a lot of reading. And wandering. I tried really hard be a historically supportive wife. I tried for every store I’ve ever dragged him to, for every Reese Witherspoon movie I made him take me to see in the theater. But after a while I sort of gave up on the exhibits and just started taking pictures of nautical elements that could someday be framed to compliment a certain couple’s bedroom. Or something. 





While part of me died and went to nautical heaven, Steve was the one who was really in all his glory. 

But his excitement didn’t end there. Up next- our excursion to the motherland:
L.L. Bean.
Stay tuned! I may have even donned some flannel for the occasion. 
~L

Published under: ... at Not So Everyday Things, ... at Picture Taking

I Keep on Fallin’

Posted on Oct 10, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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So a few weeks ago, the Friday’s Fancies theme was asking everyone to put together their fall wish lists. I thought “this is perfect!” because I had been compiling a list in my head for a month of things that I’m pretty sure I need even though Steve won’t let me buy them. You know, essentials for the cool weather, like colored jeans or fake leather jackets. 

But did I compile my list to link up first thing that Friday morning? No. Because that would be timely and make sense. And I normally do not do either of those things. But I still want things! Things I want to share with all of you. So I give you…

blazer/jeans/heels/belt/dress/necklace/nail polish/blouse

So let’s call it like it is and say that I’m a little obsessed at the moment with leopard accents and black & white contrast detailing. Also, I clearly don’t need a $548 black dress, but I’m so infatuated with Peter Pan collars, and even more so when they are jeweled. Everything is better with sparkles on it. Don’t quote me on that, someone famous may have said that first, like Marilyn Monroe or Honey Boo Boo. I’m relatively crafty though, and I’m considering doing a little DIY jeweled collar action on an old Oxford. I’m sure I’ll let you know what happens. 

Sigh. Is it so pathetic that I still haven’t invested in a pair of colored jeans? I’m so afraid of things I spend money on going out of style that I can’t commit. I think colored jeans now think that I’m just not that into them, but I am! It was only weeks ago that I posted about my love for mustard yellow, and now I’m starting to flirt with red. I’m definitely looking for a pair that could be transitioned through the seasons, which is why I’m thinking these because they can work from fall (the color of apples!) to winter (Christmas worthy color) and then spring-summer (when nautical strikes again). 

You may have noticed a sassy lady that snuck into this montage that is clearly not a model. That’s yours truly working a brown pleather jacket at Macys that I spied for $69. I’m aware that that’s a great price for a jacket (even if it is faux!) but I barely even mentioned my desire for this coat and was immediately brought back down to Earth by not only my husband but also my mother. Apparently I have an outerwear problem (among other things) and have been banned from ever purchasing another jacket/cape/pea coat/parka/rain slicker/poncho sweater. Which just makes me want this all the more. Also I couldn’t for the life of me remember the brand, hence why I couldn’t locate the actual photo and had to use this charming iPhone pic. I just know it was $69 at the Manchester Macys and I can’t stop thinking about it. We’re in love.

~L

Published under: ... at Sassy Styling

Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That (App)

Posted on Oct 4, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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Are you looking for a way to realize that everything you’ve been putting into your body is grossly above the recommended daily intake for a healthy human being and leaves you  wondering why you haven’t had a heart attack or ballooned up to the size of a sumo wrestler?
Well lucky for you, there’s an app for that. 

I know, because I downloaded yesterday. And it’s taken over my life.
You all know that I don’t care much for exercise. I know, it’s good for you, but it also sucks and it’s boring and I hate it. Any time I work out I always think of at least 37 other things that I could be doing. But a few weeks ago when the iOS 6 update popped up on my iPhone, I took the opportunity to check out some new apps. I hadn’t downloaded any in forever and who knows what life changing little button was just waiting for me? 

Not too life changing though, because I only download the free ones. 99 cents is just too much to pay for convenience.

It was there I discovered the myfitnesspal app. I had heard of such maniacal things, as a few weeks ago my sister-in-law decided to start a cleanse and proceeded to eat her way through every leafy vegetable when we went out to dinner as I polished off an entire plate of pasta and a glass of “adult” pink lemonade. Every time she consumed something, she would immediately add it to her calorie counter. In the end she practically ended up asleep at the table because she only had 860 calories that day. 

I thought nothing of this little deviant of technology until I found the app and figured what the heck. Was I going on a diet? No, not exactly, but I had recently discovered because I finally went to an actual doctor that some pounds that weren’t there before had crept up on me. This tends to happen when you don’t exercise, don’t own a scale, and enjoyed shredded mozzarella cheese on occasion as a snack. I informed Steve that I was thinking about losing “some pounds,” because I wasn’t ready to commit to an actual number. 

I hear things about calories, but I’m still confused about what they are and whether they are good or bad and I certainly have no idea how many of them I’m actually eating on a daily basis. 

So yesterday I gave it a whirl. Upon signing on, I was asked to create a username and to upload a photo. This is fun, I thought. It’s like Facebook for food! Then they wanted to know my current weight and goal weight. I made up a number that I’m convinced a 5’3 woman is supposed to be, but what the hell do I know. Then I was asked for my activity level. I was shocked to find that my particular lifestyle was not even mentioned, as these were my options: 


I mean, there was no mention of a doll hair stylist. What gives?

Next, I had to determine my exercise goals:


Uh… is this a serious question? I feel like it’s too early in our relationship to start lying to myfitnesspal. I mean, after all, we are pals now. I chose twice a week because “once a month or on random days where I all of a sudden feel fat” was not one of the options. 

And finally, I had to determine a weight loss goal. This was a load of crap, because the highest amount you could select was two pounds per week. Two pounds?! If there’s anything I’ve learned from watching The Biggest Loser, it’s that a person can lose like 27 pounds a week when Jillian Michaels is screaming in their face. I chose one just because it seemed like the normal healthy choice for someone not on a weight loss competition reality show. So according to myfitnesspal, I should reach my goal by… November. Well that’s useless, because by then I’ll be chilling out in bulky sweaters.

Just for the sake of my health, I decided to take the calorie count into consideration. For me to reach my made up goal, I should only have 1230 a day. I didn’t know if that was high or low; I mean, it sounds like way less than what I heard Phelps eats but like, more than Jennifer Aniston. So I figured I’d be fine.

WRONG. I was so wrong. By 5:00 pm yesterday, I had consumed all of my calories for that day. ALL OF THEM. And by all, I mean I actually ate 193 more calories than I was supposed to. 

Determined to keep up with something for once in my life, I didn’t consume anything else that night. Well except for like five candy corn pumpkins, but I don’t think there’s even an option for that on the counter because everything is in “serving sizes.” Finally, at 12:09, I gave in and had an English muffin. I justified this because it was technically the next day. 

So I began today at like a 165 calorie deficit for the muffin. What a way to start the day, right?

But the weirdest thing happened. When I woke up, I actually felt like… I wanted to go the gym.

Yes. Voluntarily. Steve wasn’t even here to make me feel guilty about it. I just woke up and felt the urge to go to the gym. I don’t know what came over me. I guess this is what exercise guilt feels like. 

I actually ended my day today with 200 calories to spare. So I got to have wine. Victory.

In conclusion… myfitnesspal actually works. Because seeing those extra calories on your body apparently isn’t as frightening as seeing them recorded in app form. 

Download this immediately. You will lose weight but also gain shame. You’re welcome. 

~L

Published under: ... at Becoming a Gym Rat

Pick A Little

Posted on Sep 26, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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Steve and I went apple picking yesterday. I know, thrilling stuff, right? 

I haven’t gone apple picking in years. Mainly because I barely eat healthy food that I can buy from a grocery store, let alone having to traipse around outside and gather it for myself like some sort of early settler. 

But it’s fall in New England, and this is just one of the things you’re supposed to do. Plus for the first time in weeks, we actually had a day off together. For all of you out there with normal schedules (or “real” jobs, as Steve calls them), it’s probably no big deal for you and your husband/life partner/cat to carve out some quality time to spend together. For us, it’s slightly more difficult due to our unconventional schedules, hence why we often eat dinner at 9:30 pm. 

Mondays are our Sundays, in that we can usually swing being off together and doing errands and grocery type things. Correction: Steve goes to the grocery store on Monday and I sleep in until he comes home and so rudely wakes me. But this is also the day where we do couple things, like go to the gym together. Okay, so that’s not normal either. But I did go with him yesterday, which was a mistake because he made me do level four on the elliptical. LEVEL FOUR. 

After this, the plan was to go apple picking at Steve’s beloved childhood farm Tougas in Northborough. And by that I mean he went there as a child, not that he used to live on a farm. Ew. But since this was our only day off together, we had to do other less fun grown up things too- like look at mattresses. Yep. Lindsay and Steve’s Apple Picking/Mattress Buying Day of Fun. 

So we headed off to his beloved Tougas. I had obviously dressed for the occasion with the perfect ensemble for a crisp fall day. Or at least, what I thought was perfect. 

Steve: What are you wearing?
Me: This is my apple picking outfit. Well, apple picking or if I was going to sit in a ski lodge. I would have to change the boots though. 
Steve: Okay, you are inappropriately dressed for BOTH OF THOSE THINGS. 
Me: What am I supposed to wear?
Steve: I don’t know… SNEAKERS?!
Me: Ick. 

BTW, there was a slight pit stop on the way to the farm because we realized that my car was overdue for an inspection. Whoopsie. We all know what happened last time I let that one go.  Apparently, I looked slightly out of place at the local body shop.

Steve: You look so inner city right now.
Me: Okay I really hope you mean “city.” 
Steve: Whatever, you don’t belong here.
Me: I KNOW. 

By this point it was almost three o’clock. But it didn’t matter! Because even if it killed us, we were going to pick those damn apples. As we drove up to the farm, with rows of apple trees lining the quaint New England windy roads, we envisioned all the amazing things we’d do with our foraging. Well, Steve envisioned and I crushed all of his dreams. He had to think outside the box because he already knew of my disdain for apple pie (I KNOW, I’m horrible, stop reminding me). 

Steve: I could make apple crisp.
Me: Eh, I don’t really like soggy apples. 
Steve: If you make it right, they’re not soggy.
Me: Okay, then I don’t like cooked apples. I don’t like chunks of cooked apples in things that are supposed to be dessert. 
Steve: Well then, excuse my language, but you are just shit out of luck. Your mouth is not a fun place.
Me (the most offended I’ve ever been): WHAT?!
Steve: I’m sorry, but for the person you are, your taste buds are bland. You like plain cupcakes-
Me: Classic.
Steve: Plain. You like brownies, and that’s it. Oh wait, you like the worst frosting in the world- fondant. No one likes the taste of fondant. Your palate is BORING. 

Of course, after that exchange, I was determined to be a fun person to do things with. I was going to frolic around that damn orchard with the best of them. I was going to look fabulous while picking apples that I was going to eat uncooked right off the core. It was going to be the best fall day he’s ever had in his twenty seven years on this earth.

Until we got to the farm and found out it was closed. 

Yep. You know our Sunday? No matter what way you slice it, it’s still Monday. And they’re open Tuesday-Sunday. 

It was soul-crushing. 

We sulked a little while around their farmstand and ate our emotions in the form of homemade sandwiches and apple cider donuts. I took the opportunity to take pictures of at least some fall paraphernalia because I knew that by the time we had another day off together, there would probably be snow on the ground. Which could technically be October, but still. 


Instead of crying in the parking lot or just stealing apples off of the closest trees to the road (both of which I considered in my inner emotional meltdown), Steve used the powers of technology and some website that he found that helps you find where you can pick things. I’m serious- this is how he found the Christmas tree farm. And we all know how that turned out. 

The closest place was Honeypot Hill Orchards in Stow. So there we went. And it was glorious. Mainly because they let us in. 

You have to decide when you walk in how many apples you’re going to pick. If they would let you choose like four I’d be all over it.


There’s two of us, so the obvious choice is…

Sixty mother-effin apples. And a few pears for good measure (I don’t eat those either). 

Did I mention that Steve is allergic to red apples? 


But why let that spoil the fun?

Know what does spoil the fun? All the cautionary signage warning us about the dangers of careless apple picking. 

i could use a double alright.
I let Steve do most of the apple handling. But I helped too.

Did I say help? I meant pose for pictures in my poncho sweater with as many props as I could find. 

 

hey look what I found.


Actually I did pick something: 

Yep. All me. 

All in all, it was a really great day. Even though Steve refused to buy me a caramel apple. He thinks paying for a single apple on a stick covered in delicious caramel is ridiculous after he’s already lugged sixty apples around an orchard for an hour that were already ours. What a weirdo. 

a happy weirdo.
and we did.


If you don’t hear from me in a while, it’s because I’m drowning in applesauce. Which I also don’t like.


~L

Published under: ... at Not So Everyday Things

FF: Smells Like Team Spirit

Posted on Sep 21, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

4

The theme for Friday’s Fancies this week is all about showing off your team colors. Okay, so technically the theme was football focused, but I chose to interpret it a little more loosely. 

You see, I don’t really watch football. Correction: I never watch football. Unless there’s a star studded halftime show. If I was held at gunpoint, of course I would choose the Patriots, but everyone knows that the home I live in is a hockey home, and that’s it. Over the past seven years, I feel like I have embraced this lifestyle, especially with my wardrobe (see here and here for proof). In light of recent events in the National Hockey League (or lack thereof), Bruins fans everywhere are thisclose to suffering from withdrawals- and the season wouldn’t have even started by now! 

So what better way to deal with the lockout blues than to create fictional outfits that are inspired by that very team? Well I’m sure that’s not how most fans are handling it, but sometimes pretend retail therapy works just as well as actual therapy. 
pants/jacket/shoes/earrings/bag/hat


I know what you’re thinking. When I first saw them I was like holy hell, why on earth would someone do that to a pair of pants?! But the more I searched around for more subdued B’s inspired pieces, I realized that if you’re going to declare yourself a fan, this is the way to do it and they started to grow on me. I mean, people show up to games in unitards. It really doesn’t get that much more unstylish than that. Why not go all out with one kuh-razy leg?! 

Since the weather is cooling down and hockey games force you to sit in the cold inside, this varsity jacket is the perfect cover up. Normally, this is totally not my style but I’ve been seeing them pop up all over magazines and fashion blogs lately. Of course, the chic way to sport this style of outerwear is with a pointy pair of ankle booties, which I am not even going to pretend are Garden appropriate (although it wouldn’t be the first time I saw some overdressed chick in there just trying to get guys to think that she actually likes the sport- and I am only allowed to say that because I am a reformed member myself). 

This satchel is the ultimate bag for stadium seating because it’s not too big. Plus, the cross-body style keeps your hands free for important things, like cheering or nachos. It also prevents any expensive-bag-to-sticky-floor-contact. 

I always try to bring a hat or ear muffs to cover my cold cold head, but I like this slouchy hat that keeps the ensemble from looking too done up. Real fans don’t try so hard, so a perfectly styled do is more of a don’t when it comes to sports. But of course, you need a little logo in there somewhere, which is why I always finish off my athletic apparel with a tiny pair of B’s earring (I actually own two pairs of these in different sizes, you know, depending on the occasion). 

If this is all too much for you, you could always go for a tasteful team mani:
i know what you’re thinking, and no, this was not for my wedding day.

GO B’s!!!!!! (I mean it. I actually miss you.) 

~L

Published under: ... at Friday's Fancies

Falling Slowly Into TV

Posted on Sep 10, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

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Ah, fall. Crisp leaves, warm apple cider. Prancing up and down rows of apple trees.

At least, that’s what I hear goes on outside come September. I wouldn’t know anything about that. Because…

IT’S TV TIME!!!

That’s like t-shirt time, but with less orange residue.

In all seriousness, I am so excited for fall television. I can’t wait to see my old friends (missed you, Schmidt) and meet someone new ones (hello, Mindy!) and prepare to say goodbye (I understand it’s time, but I’m still coming to terms with not seeing my pals at Dunder Mifflin every week). Yes, I know the weather is perfect outside. I know that normal people are tailgating at football games (ick), baking pies (which I did once and was promptly crushed when Steve “accidentally” dropped the Pyrex dish in the parking lot and DESTROYED it) and I don’t know… hiking, or something? Sorry, that’s just not my style. Yes, I know I’m dead inside. 

But seriously, I’m facing a moral and ethical dilemma. And by moral and ethical, I mean I need to somehow convince Comcast that I need more storage space on my DVR than the average person. Since their customer service representatives are clearly impervious to crying, screaming and other emotional reactions, I guess I’m going to have to be slightly sneaking in my show scheduling. 

don’t worry, claire. we’ll do this together.


Armed with my latest copy of Entertainment Weekly, I decided that the first step to solving all of my #firstworldproblem was to get organized. This is something I hear that people do with important things in their life, like bill paying. I went through and made a list of all the shows I knew I would want to see. And there were twenty four. 

I know what you’re thinking. Lindsay, that’s crazy. No sane person can watch that much television and lead a normal life. Well that was your first mistake because I am clearly not not crazy and barely anything I do can be regarded as normal. I work in retail. When you’re off on a Tuesday and the rest of the world is working, “accidentally” watching TV for eight hours doesn’t seem so pathetic… until I see it written out… just now. 

Anyway, here is my list of shows that I am going to give my life to this year. Because you really care. Also because writing it out helps my brain to start to wrap around how I can make this work. This is basically the closest I will come to performing a mathematical equation. 

Monday:
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (CBS 9.24) So I haven’t really ever been a regular viewer of this show, mainly because I started late and in no particular order have been catching up on syndicated reruns. But I did manage to catch the finale last year, mainly because I wanted to see the birth of Marshall and Lily’s baby. But now I’ve been reading that there’s a possibility this could be the last season, and of course now I have to know who the mother is. 
8:30 Partners (CBS 9.24) NEW Please just read the premise of this show and try to tell me that it’s not the story of Steve and each and every one of his gay friends. 
8:00 The Voice (NBC 9.10) If you can believe it, Steve and I actually watch this show together. So it stays. Plus I still just cannot get over the brilliance of a red spinning chair.
9:00 Two Broke Girls (CBS 9.24) Again, not a regular watcher. Just kind of catching up when I can. This one may have to wait until reruns due to the many hours of The Voice blind auditions. 
9:00 Gossip Girl (The CW 10.8) I know this show is clearly not what it used to be. But again, final season here. And other than that whore Vanessa, the original cast is still intact. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if this series does not end with a Blair and Chuck wedding.

Tuesday:
8:00 Raising Hope (Fox 10.2) I started watching this show because my mom couldn’t stop raving about the cute baby that played Hope. Steve and I both got hooked and I’ve even bought him some of the t-shirts Jimmy is seen wearing on the show. Good times. 
8:00 The Voice (NBC 9.10) I don’t understand why this is necessary, but I’m there. 
9:00 New Girl (Fox 9.25) I literally cannot wait for this show to start again. Steve and I have been talking about it all summer. Well, I’ve been talking about it and occasionally he remembers that it was funny. I am actually almost over the “Girl” because I’m so obsessed with the guys on this show. I.CANNOT.WAIT.
9:00 Happy Endings (ABC 10.23) We love this one too. Wow. I’m surprised by us. 
9:30 The Mindy Project (Fox 9.25) NEW If you’re the type of girl that read Mindy Kaling’s book, you’ve obviously been waiting for this one. I love that it’s a show about a crazy girl that also happens to be a gynecologist. Remember when they couldn’t even say the word “period” in tampon commercials? Oh, how far we’ve come. 
9:30 Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23 (ABC 10.23) Steve thinks I should let this one go. I think that anyone that watches My Deadliest Dirty Picking Job in the Yukon Swamp People Under the Bering Sea Survival Guide isn’t really in a position to make suggestions.
9:30 The New Normal (NBC 9.10) NEW So this show is going to be on Tuesdays but the pilot is getting the amazing lead in of The Voice this Monday. I know, confusing. Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out together. I’m still devastated that Glee is moving to Thursdays (more on that later) so this is going to have to fill my Tuesday Ryan Murphy void. Also I’m afraid of American Horror Story so there will be none of that. 

Wednesday:
8:00 The X Factor (Fox 9.12) One word: Britney. I am not even pretending that I remotely care about any of the contestants on this show or Simon Cowell for that matter. I am all in this for Miss Spears and whatever crazy she brings to the judges table. Which I hope is a lot. 
8:30 Guys with Kids (NBC 9.12) This one also just looks cute. I miss sitcoms. 
9:00 Modern Family (ABC 9.26) DUH. 

Thursday:
8:00 30 Rock (NBC 10.4) I cannot believe this isn’t coming back until October. Also in its last season, I’m hoping that we’ll find out early on whether or not Liz is going to get that… plant after all. 
8:00 The X Factor Results Show (Fox 9.12) Ugh. These are so dumb. Hopefully I won’t have any emotional ties to any of the contestants so that it’s unnecessary for me to watch all of these. 
9:00 The Office (NBC 9.20) I know that it hasn’t been the same since Michael Scott left, but after the announcement that this will be their final season, I know that I absolutely have to see how it ends. And how they fill the void left by Kelly Kapor. 
9:00 Glee (Fox 9.13) Let me just start off by saying that I’m a little bit mad at them for moving to Thursdays. Thursday is my most stressful TV day to begin with, and now I have to rearrange everything to make room for New Directions. And no, I don’t know what they’re going to do to work in everyone now that half the cast has graduated. As much as I would like to be bitchy girlfriends with Ryan Murphy, I can’t even pretend that I understand how they’re going to make this work, and yet people keep asking me as if I am one of the writers myself. Which I have to admit, is flattering. All I know is that every cast member is in the new promo photos so no one appears to have jumped ship yet. Whether it works is to be determined, but I’m sure I will never stop believing.
9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC 9.27) I know this show is ridiculous. But every year they keep me hooked. What could have topped the hostage situation in the hospital last year? Oh nothing, just LOSING ALMOST EVERY SURGEON IN THE WILDERNESS AFTER A PLANE CRASH. No biggie. Lexie bit it before the credits rolled and I’ve heard Mark is dunzo after just a few episodes. Throw in half a million of the rarest diseases that for some reason are all treated in this one hospital and McDreamy’s killer hair and I’m done for. 
9:30 Parks and Recreation (NBC 9.20) This is one of my favorite shows if only because it is a Cinderella story. No one expected it to last and here’s Leslie Knope, President of the United States! Okay, she’s actually some sort of elected government official, but still, if it survived its first season, who knows how far we can take this?!
10:00 Jersey Shore (MTV 10.4) Again, final season. I will shed a single tan-streaking tear when I have to bid farewell to these juiceheads. 

Friday:
8:00 Whitney (NBC 10.19) Please don’t throw things at me. I am fully owning that I am one of the few people that actually likes this show, and I was excited when they announced it was coming back, but felt I had to keep it to myself for fear of mockery from fellow pop culture junkies. Steve actually likes it too, but claims he doesn’t like her. It’s so weird that he has some connection with the monotone straight man that has somehow been tricked into dealing with some crazy chick for the rest of his life. 
8:00 America’s Next Top Model (The CW already started) I mean, c’mon. I can’t give up on Tyra and her smizing. And the booty tooching. And making your own wind, which sounds like farting, but it’s actually a very legitimate skill in the modeling world. 
8:30 Community (NBC 10.19) Oh God, I’m nervous about this one. When I first heard that this was being moved to Fridays, I was horrified. Friday is basically where TV shows go to die. I get that Community still hasn’t totally caught on mainstream, but I just cannot stand the thought of it ending so soon just because people don’t get it/can’t find it/are confused why these people haven’t graduated yet. If you’ve never watched this show, you have to. Specifically for these four episodes: Paintball (both parts), Dungeons and Dragons, the Spaceship, and the Pen. This year is starting with a Hunger Games tribute. I dare you to try to convince me that it won’t be genius. 

Saturday:
11:30 Saturday Night Live (NBC 9.15) I’m a little underwhelmed so far, only because Seth MacFarlane is slotted as the first host, and I must be the only person in the world that hates everything he touches. However I am excited for the extra prime time election specials they’ll have this fall, which I’m sure will interfere with something I’m already recording. 

Now keep in mind, this is excluding all the crappy I Didn’t Know I was a Teen Mom Pregnant with a Honey Boo Boo Child Kardashian Housewife of a Bridezilla Dance Mom that I find horrifyingly irresistible. So it’s going to be tight. 

Priorities, people. Priorities. 

~L

Published under: ... at Eazy Peazy Sleazy TV

FF: The Girl with the Mustard Pants

Posted on Sep 7, 2012Written by Lindsay Scouras

2

Friday’s Fancies are back!

Well they’ve always been there. I just fell off the wagon for a month. But we meet again.

I guess it’s no secret by now that the back to school outfits of my day could have used a little bit of… polishing, shall we say. Of course now that I am older, wiser and five years past my last actual first day of school I can actually look back objectively on my ensembles and realize that nobody under the age of eighteen that has to wake up before 6:00 am should be given the authority to make such important life decisions. If I could do it all over again or if I was 21 Jump Streeting it, this is what I would rock this time around:

jeans/blazer/shoes/planner/shirt/necklace


I can’t believe summer has come and gone and I still don’t own a pair of colored jeans. Well I can, because the accountant doesn’t deem these a worthy purchase when we need to be able to afford food and stuff. I was afraid that this would only be a warm weather trend, but I could see these mustard hued pants make the transition into fall. 

I have also been on a hunt for almost a year now for the perfect navy blazer. Now I’m fully aware that there are probably four of them just sitting in the mall that I work at, waiting to be discovered, but you have to understand when I say “on the hunt” I mean “finding the cheapest one possible that also fits.” I even caved at one point and bought one at Sears but I was so distracted by the less that $20 price tag that I never noticed that IT DIDN’T EVEN HAVE BUTTONS. Also it appears to be made of linen. 

I am so torn over this smoking slipper thing. I feel really behind now because I remember seeing leopard ones pop up at the beginning of the summer, but like skinny jeans I was like “psh that is ridiculous” and pretended that they weren’t going to happen. Well it seems they did, and now I’m torn if I should just give in and get a pair or if the fact that it’s been four months since they first hit the scene that our time together would be awfully limited. In that case, you can’t go wrong with a pair from Target for a cool $20. If nothing else I could still wear them as actual slippers some day. 

I know that the world is all iPad/iPhone/Computer savvy now, but in my former school days my favorite thing to purchase for the new academic year was a planner. I was very particular, as I only liked the one that had a month calendar listing and daily slots as well. I used to search high and low for the perfect one, of course then I could not swing, nor can I now, a $200 designer version, but hey, FF is all about lusting over things that you wish you could have. 

I know that chambray shirts were everywhere this summer, but I love the refresh here with the polka dots. I have been seeing this top all over the blogosphere because it’s available at one certain retailer for an amount I can only compare to my car payment, and then Old Navy was like “haha suckers!” and gave us this for $24.99. It’s already sold out in the smaller sizes online, so I’m thinking that I may have to start stalking my local stores to pic this up. I can’t already tell that I’ll suffer from un-buyer’s remorse if I don’t get this thing. 

And of course, Bauble Bar. I know the yellow bib necklace is a little matchy with the pants, but in my middle and high school days, that was what I thought style was all about.

If you have six hours to bum around on the Internet, don’t forget to check out everyone else’s back to school inspired ensembles!

~L

Published under: ... at Friday's Fancies