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| charlize theron, sally field, jane fonda, reese witherspoon |
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| naomi watts, halle berry, jennifer hudson |
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| jennifer aniston, helen hunt, jennifer garner |
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| zoe saldana, quvenzhané wallis, kerry washington |
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| octavia spencer, jennifer lawrence, kristen stewart |
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| adele, salma hayek, samantha barks |
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| amy adams, jessica chastain, amanda seyfried |
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| catherine zeta-jones, norah jones, renee zellweger, nicole kidman |
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| melissa mccarthy, anne hathaway, brandi glanville |
I have to admit, the Grammys aren’t one of my favorite award shows as far as style is concerned. It’s definitely the most relaxed of all the “big” awards, which means that a whole bunch of people show up dressed like assholes. The Grammys apparently thought they were one step ahead of everyone by sending out a serious “memo” about what celebs should and shouldn’t wear, which it’s clear that everyone promptly laughed at and threw away, or just didn’t read at all. I think the fact that they even felt that it was necessary to send out a list of such fashion constraints shows the level of class we’re talking about here. None of this shiz would ever go down with The Academy.
But I digress. We still need to talk about these hot musical messes.
After digging through all the photos, I was only able to pick out two stars that I felt were appropriately dressed/looked amazing/didn’t embarrass themselves:
I usually don’t care for Rihanna, because let’s face it- girl makes crazy stupid decisions, from her romantic life to her clothes to the sheer amount of naked photos she has on Instagram. I’m sorry, I know the world loves her, I get that every single one of her songs have hit number one, she’s so edgy, blah blah blah. It kills me every week how my beloved Fashion Police do nothing but sing her praises when it comes to style- whether she is wearing a trench coat and nothing else or if she’s rocking 90’s acid washed cutoffs. No thanks. But I was pleasantly surprised when she showed up on the carpet rocking this gorgeous flowing number because I couldn’t remember the last time I looked at her and thought she was classy. Of course, she couldn’t go for it all the way, and just had to have a completely sheer top. It’s safe to say I’ve seen enough of Rihanna’s nipples, and I think the rest of the world has too. Solange gets the majority of her coolness quotient by way of proximity. I mean she is Bey’s little sis and spent her Grammy evening in the front row, knocking back flutes of champagne with bro-in-law Jay-Z. Normally she’s dresses a little nutty for me, but I thought this emerald gown was so beautiful on her. I’m totally jealous of people that can rock the color of the year, because green is most certainly not, nor has ever been, my color. She quirked it up a bit with her choice of shoe color and her signature ‘fro, which I adore on her.
Taylor Swift’s dress would be okay if she hadn’t added that stupid silver t-strap in the front. It reminds my of those old metal back braces that kids with scoliosis had to wear back in the day (all I can think when I look at this is “Kristy Masters stuck magnets to your back…”). And I’m sorry, I cannot get behind the milkmaid braid, no matter how trendy it is. I know that I had specifically called out Adele for being amazing at everything except for dressing herself. She always wears something black and boring. Well now I wish that she had just thrown on another raven frock. I mean, how many of Mrs. Roper’s dresses had to die to make this number? I’m glad that she finally accented her waist instead of wearing something shapeless. The clashing print on the shoe is offending my eyeballs, though. Adele, please please PLEASE redeem yourself at the Oscars, I beg of you. I cannot believe Beyonce had the nerve to do this to us after showering us in amazingness at the Superbowl. I mean, what the eff. When I look at this, I feel anger inside. I mean, it’s music’s biggest night and you show up in yoga pants. FOR SHAME, Bey. For shame.
Does anyone else look at this dress on Jennifer Lopez and just think “desperate?” We get it, J.Lo- you’re sexy. You’ve got the young (possibly homosexual) boyfriend, the gorgeous bod, and a decent career despite a few crap rom coms. So why does she have to try so hard? This dress has all the sex appeal of a Hefty bag, minus the crazy leg slit (which we have seen before, no? It’s not like this is a groundbreaking moment in fashion here). I.am.so.bored. Also I’m going to need some more fullness from her topknot. It looks like a weird little growth on her head. It’s called a sock bun, Jenny. Own it. Hi, I’m Katy Perry, and these are my breasts. No really, how can you ever expect anyone to take you seriously (or look you in the eyes) when you’ve got these bazongas on display? I don’t knock her for having curves- I just feel like this dress is like a car accident. You know you shouldn’t look, but you can’t stop staring. Also there’s no hairstyle I despise more than a middle part with NOTHING HAPPENING at the bottom. Although maybe she just gave up because she knew nobody would be looking at her hair anyway. I was completely disappointed with this whole Easter Elvira look. I can’t say anything bad about Kelly Rowland except for I’m concerned for her. I mean even the smallest movement could have resulted in a wardrobe malfunction. I think her bangs are banging, not to mention her body is too. But damn girl, those are a lot of cutouts. I know you’ve spent many years backing up Beyonce, but it’s like she’s wearing a sign that says “LOOK AT ME!” with an arrow on it. And that arrow is pointing to her vagina.
Alicia Keys has certainly come a long way from those cornrows with all the beads, hasn’t she? I don’t really have anything specific to say about this one. I think she looks… fine. Except the top of her dress looks like it came from a handbag. I never quite know what to think of Carrie Underwood’s style. Obviously she’s gorgeous and has never had a bad hair day, but I think she just misses the mark sometimes. This dress looks like something a woman twice her age would wear. I think the necklace ages her too, which is crazy, because Jessica Alba wore a similar necklace to the Golden Globes and I was obsessed with it. It just didn’t work this time. I also think she has too much hair for this look. She could do without about half of those extensions and slightly less bangs in the front. Plus she was missing her best accessory- her hockey husband, Mike Fisher. Oh, Carly Rae Jepsen. What are you even doing here? I mean yes, theoretically, she was nominated and everything. But did anyone think that “Call Me Maybe” would last beyond summer twenty twelve? I feel like she was styled by the costumer from Dynasty or something. From the blue eyeshadow to the bangs to the too old for her gown (although it turns out she’s like twenty seven and not seventeen as I had once thought), there is just a heaviness to this look that doesn’t really work for her. I actually really like Janelle Monae’s look. I love that she has a signature thing- the fitted, feminine tuxedo- and it works for her. And I do appreciate when people try to evolve their personal style. But there had to be another way to do this other than to become a matador. I actually wouldn’t even mind the jacket on it’s own without the tails and the ridiculous hat. And I think a pointy spiky heel would have worked way better than this open-toed shoe.
Let me just say right now what everyone is thinking. What the hell is Ashanti doing at the Grammys this year? And why is she wearing a gown featuring a floral motif but also bat wings? I can’t describe this look as anything other than… stupid. Florence Welch is known for being out there when it comes to her personal style. Usually it’s some unflattering florals or a weird headband or something. Spiky scales are a whole new ball game. I don’t care what you say about her as an artist, she looks positively reptilian and it’s horrible. The color is great for her though. If you wonder how I feel about pants at award shows, please see Beyonce commentary above. Kaley Cuoco is one of the worst dressers out there today. She just never gets it right on the red carpet. This is the GRAMMYS- you’re not just hitting up a club. And my hands down worst of the entire evening is of course, Kimbra. I think the thing that makes it so awful is that it has elements that I like, but the execution sucks. If this has been an actual skirt instead of poorly placed tulle Kleenexes, it may have worked. And I have two words for you: curled bangs. Have you ever heard a more devastating statement?
So that’s it for “music’s biggest night” (which L.L. reaffirmed about seven thousand times). And all I can say is… bring on the Oscars.
See you then, kids!
~L
If you missed this post on how I’m taking on the daunting responsibility of finding the world’s most perfect mascara and blogging about it, well then you’re in luck, because you haven’t missed anything yet. We’re just getting started here.
So for this particular test drive, I hit up Sephora at the Natick Mall on my lunch break, and chose two different mascaras from the display of their top sellers. Using one time applicators, of course, I tried a different option on each eye so that I could accurately compare them throughout the day.
Without further adieu, I give you the first my first trial runs:
Mascara #1: LANCÔME Hypnôse Star Mascara $28
What They Say: “This mascara dresses lashes in intense volume, unfolding a new vision of glamour inspired by Betty Boop and top model Daria Werbowy. The formula’s “black-diamond effect” imparts a glossy gel-like finish. The dual-action brush has a flat side for optimizing product deposit at the lash line while the rounded side separates, defines, and lengthens.”
What I Say: You know how they say don’t judge a book by it’s cover? Apparently you also shouldn’t judge a mascara by its bottle. I was of course drawn to its hourglass curve and glittery facade. It turned out to be nothing but a rouse- I absolutely hated the outcome of this pricey designer formula. I applied this to my right eye at 1:00. By 3:00, it was starting to flake a bit. When I got home around 7:00, I was shocked to find that my under eye area resembled a speckled egg. The game had barely started and this one had already lost. So that was a solid no.
Mascara #2: Benefit They’re Real! Mascara $23
What I Say: I don’t know that anyone was questioning whether or not my left eyelashes were “real” or not, because let’s face it, that’s friggen weird. But I did notice that there was virtually no flaking throughout the day. In fact, when I woke up the next day after breaking the cardinal rule of not removing my makeup before bed (can we be honest about who actually does that every single night? Because all my magazines make me think that you are all doing this every day and I’m horrible). So this one definitely passed my smudge test, and is hands down the winner of this round.
Mascara #3: Cover Girl Lash Blast 24 Hour Mascara $9.99
What They Say: “Power hour after hour. Bold, intense volume meets the biggest brush from COVERGIRL! Get a blast of lush, volumized lashes that last up to 24 hours. For a bold look that will get you noticed.”
What I Say: This was my first drug store mascara in years. I’m not a snob, I’ve just only been using things I’ve received as a free gift with purchase because if I’m going to spend money, I want as many free products as possible. When speaking to a coworker about the mascara challenge, they recommended a CG mascara that comes in a blue bottle. Now why after swearing off random advice from people did I still go and search for it is beyond me, but I ended up trying this one instead. I figured since it specifically advertised “24 hours” it must at least have the intention of being in it for the long haul (which I couldn’t say about many of the “bestsellers” as Sephora, as most of them only touted their advancements in lengthening and thickening and whatever else mascaras are supposed to do). I was pleasantly surprised with the wear of this one- no flakes at all, but was still easy enough to take off when I forced myself to do so. The only complaint I have is the wand is way bigger in person than it looks in this photo, and I found it difficult to evenly distribute the mascara when applying it to my less dextrous side (whether it’s fingernails, eyebrows or lashes, there’s alway one side that you’re less skilled at applying beauty products- for me, it’s my right). And thanks to my CVS card, I got a buy one, get one 50% off deal, so I also picked up a CG cream eyeshadow that I had previously used but had been smashed to pieces in my my makeup bag.
We’re off to a pretty good start, but there are so many options out there that need to be tried. And since I will now be away from the mall for four days straight due to a little blizzard situation we got going on here, we may have a slight delay on our next round. I know I said that I was going to be a brat about this and not accept any advice and only base my decision on what I think, but I got some very interesting comments on the last post about what has worked and not worked for you guys. So rest assured, I am reeling in the crazy and any words of wisdom you have, I would love to hear. I am pro-choice when it comes to makeup, but it doesn’t mean I won’t read the picket signs. Keep ’em coming!
Until then,
~L
You might remember this thrilling post from last year in which I purged my makeup drawer that was housing more Jane lipsticks and broken Wet N Wild eyeshadows than any self respecting woman not living in 1999 should own. I have since then upgraded to a lucite contraption from The Container Store that sits atop my dresser. I figured this would be a good way to ensure that I stay organized since all of my products are now visible all the time. It’s just big enough for the essentials + a few fun things. If you wear a ton of makeup this is probably too small for you, but for me it’s perfect because it requires you to edit and only keep the things that you really use/haven’t expired yet.
Now that all my goods are on display, I’ve noticed there are definitely some key pieces in which I am lacking. Let me start off by saying I really don’t consider myself a “makeup girl.” I really only like lipsticks and nail polish, which I guess doesn’t really count because you don’t put nail polish on your face. Or maybe you do, and you’re one of those My Strange Addiction people- whatever, I’m not judging. But as much as I love buying clothes and shoes, makeup has always really taken a backseat in my eyes, mainly because unlike what’s hanging in my closet, it isn’t permanent. I do admit that it seams crazy to pay $26 for one tube of something that you are going to apply and then remove like twelve hours later. I could get two shirts and a stack of bangles for that at Forever 21.
Now that I’m getting older, I feel like I need to snap out of my existing makeup routine, many habits that have been with me since high school when I first started wearing makeup (barely). The biggest thing I’ve noticed that I am awful at is anything related to foundation or base or powder or whatever the thing is we’re supposed to be using now. I still don’t know what the hell BB cream is, and yet I want it. So at some point, I need to do an overhaul of my how I put on my face, as the ladies say. I’m going to wait on this one, as I can’t really justify dropping cash on multiple products (because you know there won’t be just one) that are probably going to be sort of expensive (duh).
So I decided for the moment to concentrate on one elusive item that has been bugging me for years: the perfect mascara. These are my main issues with every kind I’ve used in the past:
1. It never stays on. I am a pale Italian with undereye circles resembling a raccoon. And yes, I have tried sleeping more, drinking water, etc. I think this is just how my face looks. I’ve learned to deal with it (thanks to the insanely priced Christian Dior concealer I discovered on my last makeup crusade) but I certainly don’t need a million tiny black flakes taking the plunge onto my skin everyday. I feel like every mascara I’ve ever tried has shed on me like a shaky black dog. Yet…
2. …It is such a pain to take off. If there’s a way to do it without pulling out half your eyelashes, I sure as hell haven’t discovered it yet.
3. Speaking of losing eyelashes, mine are weird. Just like most body parts that we have two of, mine are totally uneven. I definitely have more on my left eye than my right. I’m probably the best candidate for those eyelash extensions, if they weren’t a million dollars and if I was Jennifer Lopez.
For years and years, the only mascara I ever used was Clinique. No particular kind, just whatever came in a free gift with purchase all inclusive pack. Which is probably not the way to find a quality mascara that works best for you.
Last year, fed up with the shedding factor, I posed the mascara question on Facebook. I mean, say what you want about it, but there’s no better way to gather copious amounts of solicited advice than our favorite social networking site. I got so many comments from all kinds of people, and everyone said something different. I finally decided to try L’oreal Voluminous Carbon Black Volume per the recommendation of my bff and stylist Ryan. He told me it was what Kim Kardashian used, so right away I was sold. Listen, I know the Kardashians suck at life and we shouldn’t indulge them, but you have to admit, that girl rocks a false lash like it’s nobody’s business.
So I tried it. And it looked amazing on. The brush is super thick and it just like covers every inch of your lashes with thick Bardot-esque goodness.
And then, within three hours it was all over me.
I’m serious- I have gone back to this tube repeatedly, not ready to give up on it just yet, and within hours I am reminded why I stopped using it. I started to think that maybe this was normal and all mascaras did this..? No. Unacceptable. It is 2013. We can put people in space but no one has invented a quality makeup product that doesn’t make you look like a used hooker by noon?
So now I am on a quest for the perfect mascara. Of course I will be reporting my results to you, so I’m basically like a makeup scientist conducting very important field research and therefore cannot be yelled at for spending money. However, it does seem outrageous to buy and try multiple products especially if you end up hating them, so I’ve come up with a plan of attack:
1. I am going to take advantage of any place that allows me to try stuff on (of course safely and with brand new applicators everytime. Gee-ross). I work at a mall, so I am going to go mascara-less and try things, and then give it a full day before I decide if I’m going to buy it. That way I can test for smudgeyness.
2. If I purchases drugstore makeup, I am going to buy it at CVS. Why? Because they let you return stuff if it doesn’t work out. Also they have Extra Bucks. I know Walmart is theoretically cheaper, but I don’t know if they have such an accepting return policy. Plus any less time I can spend in Walmart, the better off I am, really.
3. I will not be tricked into buying anything just because someone tells me it’s the most amazing product they’ve ever tried. While it’s a good resource, I’m not even reading reviews online. I already spend enough time reading things on the Internet and that’s like, for fun. This is about what works best for me, so I am the guinea pig in this scenario.
So please, join me on this magical mascara tour as we embark on the search for the perfect formula that lengthens, thickens, separates and lasts for hours on end. Is that really too much to ask? I think not.
~L
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So yesterday we caught up on some of the best (and less than best, but not totally horrible) fashions of the Golden Globes. But this post is where shizz gets real, as there are a lot of violations to be handed out. So let’s get right into it, shall we?
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| hayden panettiere, sally field, amy adams, julie bowen |
We’ll start off with some of the ones that just didn’t quite make the cut for me. Hayden Panettiere looked nice-ish in her strapless mermaid number, but the pink clutch made her look even younger than she already is. This isn’t your junior prom, Hayden. It seems like she tried to make herself look older by applying way too much 90’s style shimmery makeup. She looks like an extra from She’s All That (which I’m sure she has never heard of because she was probably a toddler when it came out).
I actually thought Sally Field looked really beautiful. That navy shade is a gorgeous color on her. But holy Grandma’s cleavage. I’m not just saying that because she’s older, I seriously don’t like that deep smushed boob thing on anyone. I feel like it only works if you are crazy flat chested like Kate Hudson.
Oh, Amy Adams. I mean whoever seeks out a dress the color of a paper bag? It’s literally the same shade as her skin. The shape is pretty but she looks like a freaking floating head. And that one curl hanging down the side of her face is driving me nuts.
Julie Bowen is another that I almost like the whole look, and then I see the asymmetrical hemline. Like I don’t need to see three quarters of one of your ankles. The color is fabulous and I’m glad she pulled her hair back (but not no severe like that slicked back middle part pony she sported a few years ago). And what is with her stance? I feel like she’s trying to showcase the one shoulder and the drapey ruching but she just comes off looking like a hunchback.
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| anne hathaway, amanda seyfried, julianne hough, lea michele |
I guess Anne Hathaway looks pretty and all, but didn’t Les Miz wrap like a year ago? Why has she not started eating again? I don’t know what else to say. I’m just so bored looking at her.
Who would have ever thought Amanda Seyfried, also known as Karen “My Boobs Can Always Tell When It’s Going to Rain” would end up being the most A-List of all the Mean Girls? Too bad she stole this dress right out from under her grandma. I do not enjoy all the different lace panel things, and as if there were a way to make it less sexy, she covered up every ounce of décolletage with that stupid tie tack at the neckline.
I feel like Julianne Hough is going through an existential fashion crisis. I just don’t get who she wants to be. She’s all over the place. Especially with this ensemble. I know some people like the juxtaposition of the hard rocker hair with the princess pouf of a dress, but I think it looks like someone cut a hairstyle out of a magazine and stuck it on a different photo of the gown. I actually really like the top part of the dress, because you know me and sparkle, but I hate that it disintegrates as it travels down, especially since a lot of the hardware is little gold line thingys. And the gather of the tulle at the hips- blech. No me gusta.
Was Glee nominated this year and I missed it? I was shocked to find Lea Michele even on the red carpet, especially since when I first saw her I thought it was Snooki. I mean I know she just got back from Hawaii, but that spray tan is faker than Kurt’s internship at Vogue. I do sort of like the dress, but I wonder if anyone in Hollywood can think of any other way to be sexy other than having their dress slit up to their pelvic bone?
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| eva longoria, jennifer lopez, katharine mcphee, kaley cuoco |
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| adele, debra messing, helen mirren, stacy kiebler |
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| emily blunt, kristen wiig |
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| taylor swift, jessica chastain, lucy liu, sienna miller |
It’s the most wonderful time of the year…
No, not that! Christmas is over, you fools (thank God. I can walk around my apartment again).
AWARDS SEASON.
I have literally been giddy with excitement over this. I know that’s not unusual for me, but I don’t know, something was different this year. First of all, I was in the same country as the Golden Globes, unlike last year, when I was trying not to lose appendages due to frostbite in Canada… I mean I was celebrating my one year anniversary. Second, I planned better. I make my schedule at work sometimes two months in advance, and don’t always know off the top of my head what exact days the awards are. This year I put it in my phone, set alarms- I was set. Third, I had a visitor. Yes, I watched the awards with someone other than myself. Willingly.
I have written before about my desire to only watch award shows by myself. And no, it’s not because people don’t want to watch them with me (no matter what Steve says). It’s because every time I watch something important with other people in the room, they talk. Then I talk, then I miss things, and then I lose out on fodder for my incessant award show night Facebook posts. As much as I love throwing parties, the idea of throwing an award show party makes me want to cry. I just want to be left alone.
However this year I decided to be less of a frigid bitch and invite my old roommate Liz over. Liz and I lived together in Cambridge in a “swinging singles” apartment as my mother called it (despite the fact that both of us were in relationships) before I moved in with a boy. Liz has recently moved to the a mere twenty minutes away to the suburbs (mwhahahaha) and is now one of us. Like she has a car and everything! Yet we’ve only seen each other like three times since the move. We’re busy people.
There were snacks.
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| for those of you not in the know, liz & i survived on only chips & salsa for almost two years. |
There were ballots.
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| bills, bills, bills. |
There was wine (only for me, because Liz was being “healthy” and “cleansing” or something). We started watching preshow coverage at 5:00 and didn’t stop until the show ended at 11:00. I even made food stuff. Okay, Steve prepared it but I assembled it.
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| mini caprese/bruschetta thing. oh you fancy, huh? |
It was almost like we still lived together. Liz brought nail polish and her computer and Steve disappeared, so it was like the boys in our lives didn’t even exist. I mean, we missed them very much. Luckily football was on too so I don’t know if they noticed that we weren’t there. Sometimes, you just need your girls, you know?
And speaking of girls, can we talk about what the ladies were wearing that night?
Of course, I had my favorites:
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| claire danes, kate hudson & jessica alba |
I thought that these three exemplified red carpet glamour/how famous people should dress for an award show. Claire Danes looked amazing a mere one month after giving birth. Okay, well obviously she looks amazing because she’s famous and it’s a heck of a lot easier when you’re famous, but still, I give the girl some credit. Although I did cringe a little when she mentioned her fear of “leaking” on the carpet. Girl, you’re in Versace. Can we not discuss what may or may not be coming out of your nipples? I will subtract points however for over application of her eye makeup. I felt like it made her look more tired and old, but she does have a newborn, so I’m going to let this one go a bit.
I think Kate Hudson was my hands down absolute favorite of the evening. I mean she took things that shouldn’t be that exciting on the red carpet (black, sleeves, straight hair– one of my personal pet peeves at a formal event) and it all just worked. I mean it helps when you have that body, but damn, that dress was just made for her. I loved the sparkle at the neck- it made it a little more grown up (we’ll call it the Downton Abbey effect) but the non-cleavage boob exposure keeps it from being boring. I love love loved this.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Jessica Alba had no business being there, but I’m glad that she was because I loved her entire ensemble. Not many people look good in salmon, but I thought between the dress and the jewelry she just looked like a real movie star. Which reminded me that I couldn’t tell you the last movie she was even in. At first I was kind of horrified by the purse, but her Muppet clutch started to grow on me. I love fun bags and if you’re not worried about actually winning an award or anything, why the hell not? I do wish her hair was a little darker because I think her ombre is starting to blend in with her skin, and I wanted her to have a little more definition. Plus I still think that ombre is a trendy way to say “I was too lazy to get my roots done.”
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| amy poehler, zooey deschanel, tina fey |
I thought that host Amy Poehler looked awesome… from the waist up. I seriously love a woman in a sexy suit. Plus I like when people that you know are funny kind of mix it up and are like “whoooa bet you didn’t know I could be sexy too.” And then I saw her ankles and 90’s style prom shoes (which probably cost $500, but I’m sorry- I swear I wore those to my sophomore semiformal) and it kind of killed it for me. She’s kind of short and I wanted it to be like a fabulous super wide leg or something. Also a few years ago I was sort of obsessed with side buns for formal events and my best friend/hairstylist Ryan always tried to talk me out of them, claiming no matter what, you look like you have a growth coming out of the side of your head. I hate to say it about my girl Amy… but he was right.
At first I really enjoyed Zooey Deschanel’s look. I loved her cute little pony and pearls combo. Red is one of my favorite formal colors because it’s always so dramatic and you don’t clash against the carpet! Upon a further look, I decided I really don’t like this shiny taffeta-esque fabric. It turns it tableclothy. And why does she insist on always doing this not quite enough coverage tiny boob cup thing? I was just waiting for a nip slip in that floaty blue princess dress she wore to the Emmys last year, and I feel like she just keeps repeating that same shape.
And Tina Fey. I mean, if they gave a most improved award, this girl would get it, with honors. I normally don’t like anything less than a full length gown for such a big event, but I thought it was appropriate because she was co-hosting and only did a quick run across the carpet. I thought this shape worked really well on her, but everything else she wore that night looked amazing too, because damn is she skinny all of a sudden! As long as she doesn’t shrink any smaller than this I’m okay with it. Don’t scare me girl- we don’t want any Mischa Barton arms up in here.
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| kerry washington, jennifer garner, jodie foster, sofia veragara |
I LOVE GLITTER. And sparkle, and bling, and whatever the hell you want to call it, as long as it’s shiny and in bulk. I always think it’s appropriate for the red carpet and I hate when people try to go all “safe” and “simple” because that’s not what any of this is about. I loved the concept of Kerry Washington’s airy nude gown, but not the execution. The short lining with the short hem and a close toed nude shoe? I thought the combination of those elements aged her like twenty years. And I could have done without those super blunt bangs. Blech I just hate those. I felt like the was trying to be edgy from the neck up to balance out the old ladyness that was happening south of her waistline. I guess she is just so beautiful that nothing looks truly bad on her, but I just wanted to turn her into a Project Runway challenge where they rip of what you’re wearing and turn it into what it was meant to be.
I thought Jennifer Garner looked good as a date-of-a-nominee-who-hasn’t-walked-on-a-red-carpet-with-her-significant-other-since-2007 could look. It had my favorite things- red, sparkles, a waistline, but I didn’t fall of my couch or anything over it.
I didn’t really know what to think of Jodie Foster, other than the fact that she looked kind of like she was wearing a suit of armor, which probably explains why she looks uncomfortable, although in retrospect that could have been because of something else (obviously, being seated with Mel Gibson). I do think she is very pretty, but her haircut is so severe that I’m scared she’s going to start yelling at me in German or something. I think some loose extensions could have changed this look entirely, and for the better.
Sofia Vergara is one of those that nothing ever looks bad on her. She is a self appointed Sparkle Queen, and while I’m glad she lost the Miss Universe looks she’s been sporting for the past few years, I don’t know if there’s anything else out there that exists that she could wear that would look any different. I feel like she went a little demure with the black, but why does the dress need ruching that provides no purpose except for a clear marker for where her vagina is?
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| olivia munn, jennifer lawrence, rosario dawson |
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| halle berry, marion cotillard, lena dunham, nicole kidman |
If you’ve never heard of Style Me Pretty, you are either a.) not married or engaged b.) a boy. SMP is the ultimate wedding blog, as in you will need to set aside a good three hours if it’s your first visit. They only feature the most lovely, detail oriented and unique weddings, which is why I was so excited to be able to attend the soiree celebrating their first (I say first because I pray there will be more) book with Liz!
We arrived at Grettacole as the first bottles of bubbly were popped. Saying we were early is an understatement- we were literally the first people there, which pretty much never happens to me, as I am perpetually ten minutes late for life. I do like to be able to capture the details before the crowds arrive, so I snapped some pics while we were waiting for the fun to begin.
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| the cookies & cream will change your life. |
If you’re wondering, those are cake truffles. They look like cereal but they taste like the holy grail of desserts. Liz and I may have each eaten more than one. Thank you Delicious Desserts for creating a new obsession.
After some mingling, SMP creator Abby Larson took the stage- or I guess chair- and did a reading from her hot off the presses book. Afterward, she was nice enough to open up the floor and answer whatever questions the masses had.
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| note the immersed iphoners in the background. including me in pink, obv. |
I always knew I loved weddings (especially given my roots as a photographer’s daughter and an internship with an event planner) but Abby’s words of wisdom would inspire anyone, regardless of their affinity for planning out of the box nuptials. As someone who is in a bit of a quarter life crisis, I found myself most moved by her tales of how she started with a simple idea and turned it into not only a business, but her dream job as well. When she spoke about her pre-SMP days, I found myself thinking “omg! I’m going through the exact same thing!” But the difference is, Abby actually got off her butt and did something about it.
To see for yourself, see how Abby so thoughtfully answered one audience member’s question so thoughtfully:
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| um, can we be wedding/real housewives besties? okay thanks. |
On our way out, Liz and I grabbed our brand new autographed copies of the SMP book.
So apparently it’s January. It’s probably not the time for any Christmas related post, but that’s the thing about the holidays. You have all these intentions of lovely things you’re going to do and then you wake up one day and it’s 2013. I literally just got all my decorations up like four days before Christmas. According to the Internet, I was supposed to have had everything done December 1st and also have it photographed, Pinned, blogged and Instagrammed. Not only that, but I clearly failed in my attempt at daily posts of the cards of Christmas past. On the bright side, that leaves plenty for next year. Maybe if I start now you’ll actually see them by December.
So I have a slew of holiday merriment to catch up on. Let’s start with some sweet Christmas presents, shall we? As I’ve said before, I do actually love giving gifts to people and wrapping them as well. But it makes me a little crazy that people don’t like to admit how awesome it is to get presents too. Admit it- presents rock! And as long as you’re nice and pay it forward too then you’re totally okay.
Every year I make a very detailed list of things that I would be happy (but am in no way expecting) to find under my tree. I started when I was a teenager cutting pictures of the things I wanted out of magazine, because as we learned from The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, sometimes parents just don’t understand… what these things are that you want. Of course the Internet has made it way easier to put together a compilation list so it has continued.
In case you’re wondering what this year’s looked like, this is the list that I provided (but only when asked. I’m not a total brat).
I like to choose things that are a range of prices and some things that have to be ordered online vs. things that a technologically-inept person (sorry, Mom) could get in their car and drive to a store and buy.
And then of course, there’s my husband. Steve prides himself on not buying me ANYTHING off my list. His theory is that he’s so amazing (which is kinda true) and listens carefully to me all year when I say I want things that he buys me long after I’ve forgotten about them. Then on Christmas morning I’m like, “oh my God I wanted this!” and he sits there all proud and is like, “I know.”
This year was no exception. Starting with stocking stuffers. I am the worst at stocking stuffers. I always forget about them until the last minute and then I buy stupid things in a panic that I won’t have anything. And just because something fits in a stocking doesn’t mean it’s cheap, so I often spend too much of my allotted budget on dumb things that just happen to be tiny. Like everything else, Steve is great at picking out small things that I actually need, so if gift giving is a game, he’s the clear winner on this one.
This next one wasn’t so much a surprise because I made Steve promise on our not yet conceived first born child that he would take me to see Les Mis or I would return all of his presents. But he’s always one for presentation. This isn’t even the first time he’s given me a decorated envelope.
I always ask for a mix of books and DVD’s because I rarely buy them for myself (you know, for fear of exoneration from Count Pennypincher). My struggle is always remembering what I had been wanting to see/read that year. I can’t wait to read all of my new books! You know, in my spare time.
Steve refuses to buy me nail polish because he thinks I have a “problem” and doesn’t want to feed my “addiction.” Luckily I have a sister and a sister-in-law who understand what I’m going through.
Steve always shows how much he truly cares by braving Forever 21 during the Christmas season. Whatta guy. He’s also the Jewelry Whisperer of the Kate Spade outlet.
Speaking of outlets, Steve also scored pretty big at my other favorite, J.Crew. Because now that we’re married, we like to brag to each other how little we pay for each other’s gifts. If you ask me, that’s what true love is really about. Without a bargain hunting husband, there is no way I would ever have acquired my Edie bag:
And not one, but two schoolboy blazers:
Wondering how I got these amazing photos of myself? I got a tripod!
Now I don’t have to beg Steve to take my outfit photos at 10:00 pm when he gets home after I’ve been alone with my clothes all day. And um for work and stuff too when I photograph things. Obviously I did not get Photoshop, as you can tell by all the hideous things that are happening on my face. Maybe next year.
Back to outlet shopping. If the Kate Spade outlet didn’t exist… well I just wouldn’t own anything from Kate Spade.
I’m aware that everything I own is pink. I have to try to obtain as much of it as possible before I turn 30 and I look ridiculous.
Speaking of that…
I swear it’s just not Christmas morning without new pajamas. Yes, I have the same set in flannel as exhibited above (gift from last Christmas) but I think there’s something to be said for wearing a matching set to bed. I like to feel fancy even when I am not awake.
It’s not just pink things I coveted this year. I was finally able to quench my thirst for all things leopard as well.
Before you judge, these are both from Target. Target! I know, I can’t believe it either.
Also from Target:
I’ve been slowly building my fancy Christmas “china” (I use that term loosely because I don’t know if Target actually carries anything resembling china). I have all the necessary pieces, but then of course this year, they came out with… mugs. Obviously the set could not be complete with mugs. I think I’m done now.
Obviously, I’m also obsessed with this planner I got. I’m thinking about going back to paper vs. technology as far as keeping track of dates and things. I’m going to use woodsy colored pencils to do it, you know, just like the pioneers.
And my “big” gifts. C’mon, you know what I’m talking about. The one that gets saved for last, maybe sometimes is hidden and brought out only after you thought all the presents were over:
This first one is from my parents. Ladies and gentlemen, if this doesn’t help me, I am out of ideas. My skin is worse now than it was when I was a teenager. I have heard nothing but amazing things about the Clarisonic Mia and surprise! It comes in pink. Together we can take on the world. Hopefully.
And of course, from my husband, who heard me mention once that I thought these were cool and tracked down one from the 1950s that happened to be in perfect condition:
So in my obsession with all things vintage and hats, I had said previously that I wanted a real hat box. Cause you know, traveling with said hats had become a problem. According to my historical husband, this is technically a “train case.” But it’s amazing. It’s an original Samsonite and it’s leather and there isn’t a scratch on it. It’s also super heavy so that will actually keep the packing to a minimum. I guess some old guy in Virginia had it just hanging out in his attic. And now my old guy has it hanging out in our apartment.
So all kidding inside, it was an awesome Christmas and I am a very very lucky girl. I don’t know what I did to deserve such nice people in my life, but I’m wondering if they’re just tired of me complaining about not being able to buy anything and wanted me to shut up. Either way, I’m appreciative nonetheless.
~L
For most families, the fact that the kids start to grow up becomes an obstacle in creating the perfect Christmas card. But not for us. Oh no. Getting older meant it was not just about cute little dresses and poses. This is where we really started to get creative. And by creative, I mean really really embarrassing.
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| 1997 |
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| 1998 |
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| 1999 |
I can’t pretend that there is any sort of blanket statement that would explain this next round of photos. The first three posts were all like, “look at these cute children in pajamas/Christmas dresses. Aren’t they darling?” These next three in comparison don’t even seem like they’re from the same family. Of course there are some Scalera family Christmas card trademarks – pajamas, winter clothes, the fake Christmas fireplace backdrop. Some of the concepts are vague in purpose and one is just downright “inappropriate” (Grandma’s words, not mine). See for yourselves.
Card #10 – 1994
I guess if I had to classify a theme for this one it’s “Stuff We Like That Totally Dates This Photo.” For Becky, The Lion King was her ultimate obsession. How she went from being afraid of the preview to watching it everyday on VHS when she came home from preschool, I have no idea. Her world was consumed- everything from her bedroom to her clothes, covered in singing African animals. She was physically in love with the character of Timon, despite the fact that she was freaked out by his stuffed animal version’s “elbow hair” and made my mom trim it. For me, it was all about Kirsten Larson. But you probably knew that. Unfortunately my love for her did not translate to properly caring for her hair, and by this point her traditional Swedish loop braids were history, never to be the same. I love how this picture says, “oh hello there. You just happened to stumble upon us waking up on Christmas morning as we come down the stairs and get a first glance at our glorious gifts.” But since people were opening this card in early December, I imagine they were confused. Was this a card from the future? No one will ever know…
Card #11 – 1995
I’m going to be honest, I don’t even remember why we did this. It’s a miracle that there’s snow in this picture, but again, it’s New England so this could have been Halloween. I vaguely remember that someone my parents knew had painted these and used them as lawn ornaments at Christmastime. I have no idea who these people were or where they lived. I just remember being ushered into the car all bundled up and being told that “today was the day” we were going to take our photo. So go stand in a stranger’s lawn and let’s get this wrapped up before someone comes. Okay, I’m sure we actually had permission. I still think something is weird about this though. Can we also notice that my sister has now inherited my jacket and the plaid purple pantsuit pants?! Some things just refuse to die.
Card #12 – 1996
My apologies for what you have just seen. In case you’re not sure and you don’t believe it, yes, that’s a photo of a sixth and second grader in their bikinis. I may have mentioned before that my dad has a slight obsession with Jimmy Buffet. The concept for this one was the whole “Island Christmas” vibe, which was ironic, because again, we lived in NEW HAMPSHIRE. And it’s not like we took this on the beach in the summer. Oh no, this was the first time I remember the Christmas card becoming a full scale photo shoot. 1996 was the year we had to start setting it up in the garage and running a space heater because it was so freaking cold. Especially when you’re in your BATHING SUITS. I’m going to spare you the other photos, but let’s just say Doreen was quite the propmaster that day. There were lawn chairs, fake presents, and margaritas (virgin, of course). I believe the tagline read “Wishing You a Cool Yule.” I think that all those things could be fine, but what really takes this photo from silly Christmas card to exhibit A at future therapy are the poses. I think my sister would holla for a dolla way before Honey Boo Boo was even a twinkle in Sugar Bear’s eye. My grandmother was so offended by this card she sent it back. Unfortunately for you, that’s not an option. Thanks, Internet.
I swear, the next installment will be less emotionally scarring. For you, at least. I can’t say the same for myself.
~L
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