Tonight started as so many episodes have in the past- with someone from the Glee club snooping on a rival singing group. And what a surprise- it’s another former reality show wonder that has suddenly arrived on the scene!

As Mr. Schuester was warning them about their impending competition, McKinley High’s power suddenly shut down. Instead of being scared, everyone seemed super jazzed to be hanging out at school in the dark. Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t there be a small amount of concern? I mean, just a mere two weeks ago we had an almost school shooting. Despite the circumstances, the ever inept Principal Figgins decided to keep everything as it were and continue the school day. Which of course, inspired Mr. Schu with a (decent) new theme- unplugged week!

Back in the Brooklyn loft, Kurt and Rachel had an intervention with Santana, who despite their judgey-ness, was not at all embarrassed that she was working it as a cage dancer in a lesbian bar and not trying to become a Broadway star. Get it, girl. She’s nineteen- who the hell cares? I was glad to see that this sudden attack didn’t affect her sassiness, and I absolutely loved the “Run, Joey Run” reference, a la season one.

Back in the lantern-filled choir room, the Gleeks were hard at work. And by hard at work, I mean Sam made a lot of uncomfortable references to his conception and stripper past before giving an acoustic performance of “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling.” Ryder joined in uninvited, but the blend of their boy band worthy voices and leftover Bieber haircuts kind of worked. 

Artie was up next, but he’s a gangsta’ yo, and just couldn’t go on without his “synth.” Sam became frustrated by everyone’s dependency on technology and lectured them about disconnecting, which I found ironic given that practically every member the cast are diehard Twitter users in real life. 

In NYC with SJP! Who even knew that Kurt was still pretending to work at Vogue.com? His boss Isabel continued to be as lovely as ever and oddly supportive of Kurt’s school related absence, but she was very excited to have him back just in time for a huge gala teeming with celebrities and swag bags. And because we have entered a realm so far out of reality that this was “work,” he was allowed to bring extra friends to help!

Back in Sue’s new life, she was back to her angry journal-writing and seemed to have actually found a perfect new job for herself as a personal trainer. There she could scream at people that were actually paying her for her guidance and it was finally appropriate for her to wear a track suit everyday. Somehow Blaine and his sweaty mop snuck in and tried to persuade Sue to return to the halls of McKinley and save the sorry Cheerios. Sue stuck to her guns and refused, claiming she was wear she was supposed to be, which I sort of agreed. 

But why would she want to return to McKinley when THE POWER WAS STILL OUT?! It had been what, days?! 

Ryder confessed that he really wanted to “reveal” himself, and for a second I was concerned. I mean, what is left? Between teen pregnancies, questioning sexuality and gender, learning disorders, eating disorders, depression, bullying, catfishing, being differently abled- we’ve pretty much run the gambit of issues here. He sang “Everybody Hurts” which I could have sworn had already been sung (upon further investigation, I discovered it was featured on an episode of The Glee Project on his season no less), but judging from his candlelit prayer cycle, everyone was totally into it. 

All of the males in the Glee were inappropriately supportive when Ryder finally revealed that he had been molested as a preteen… by a girl. After all the things everyone in this group has been through, they couldn’t have at least feigned the tiniest bit of empathy? Oh well. I guess that’s the most realistic thing Glee has done in a while- have the boys act like complete and utter idiots, and not super-sensitive amazing boyfriends. Teen girls, that is real. Get used to it.

At Breadsticks, Kitty confessed to Ryder that not only had she broken up with Puck, but she had been through a similar situation as Ryder had when she was younger. And she admitted why she’s been a huge bitch this entire season, and as with most awful popular girls, she was clearly overcompensating for something.

Back at the auditorium, the Glee club was reveling in their technology-free lives with a Stomp-inspired rendition of “We Will Rock You.” It was kind of cool, but I just couldn’t get over that they haven’t had electricity at school for like, a week. Although we did get to see some of Jake’s awesome tap moves (?!?!?!).

On the field, Sue was hanging out in the bleachers stalking her former team. Which is weird, because since the school officials are still under the impression she fired a gun at school, you think there’d be some kind of security preventing her from coming within a certain distance. She then launched into a dream performance of “Little Girls” from Annie, which I thought was one of the most perfectly selected songs in Glee history. Especially since if you remember, Sue’s mother was played by Carol Burnett. 

At the Vogue party, Rachel and Kurt scurried around as happy little helpers and Santana sulked in the corner. SJP told her that every little girl dreams of being a ballerina (um, not true, but thanks for stereotyping) and then they all sang “At the Ballet” from Chorus Line ON STAGE. I love that song. I love all the songs from that show. And I loved seeing all of them sing in super fancy evening wear. And how appropriate that Sarah Jessica was singing the verse about not being traditionally beautiful? The whole song was just perfection. Minus the fact that it was completely unreal and that they had to cut out some of the dialogue/changed it entirely. They wrapped it up with Carrie… I mean Izzy… telling them that they were young and had plenty of time to figure out what they want to do with their lives. But if it’s doing nothing and wearing designer gowns and singing on really big stages, well then I guess they have all made it and no additional growth is necessary.

don’t get it twisted, high school seniors: this is not college. via

Back in Lima, Roz had finally had enough of Becky’s behavior (is she really allowed to call her an adult baby? Like really?) and refused to be known as an “eye farter” which for some reason, made me laugh really really hard. In an act of God, the power came back on, but there was still a lesson to be learned. So don’t plug your expensive spotlights and pyrotechnics just yet. 

In the library, Ryder was still entertaining the idea that his catfisher was the one for him, even after Kitty threw her emotionally broken self at him. Side note: I’m so glad that I have an ancient laptop in which the screen occasionally turns completely white and Ryder is using a super fancy Mac with a wireless keyboard to sext his imaginary girlfriend while he is at school. The universe is unfair. 

Finally, all was right in the auditorium. And even though they voluntarily remained unplugged, New Directions still couldn’t resist having a few snazzy lighting cues. I just have to know- is there an accapella group in existence that hasn’t sang “For the Longest Time?” I think not. 

We’re down to just a few more episodes… and shocker! Next week is another theme week. And it’s… Stevie Wonder? As much as I love me some “Superstition,” do we really have time for this? Nationals are only a few weeks away. Finn was MIA, and I don’t even remember if Brittany was shown on camera once. Is she on maternity leave already?! None of that matters though… because our girl Mercedes is back next week! And Mike Chang! Can I get a hallelujah? 

~L

Thankfully, this week’s episode of Glee started on a lighter note than the last. I think if the school violence episode had been tonight, I don’t know that I could have handled it. Instead, we got to see Finn starting his new life at the practically Ivy League University of Lima. Apparently everyone there majors in the Harlem Shake. I liked seeing Finn sort of happy, even if he is basically just a carbon copy of Will Schuester with his penchant for cardigans and messenger bags. It was there he was reunited with his former best friend/teammate/enemy/girlfriend stealer Puck, who has suddenly entered the world of college mid-semester with an equally low GPA and no explanation for how any of this is possible.

Rachel was back in all her Berry glory, doing overly confident voice overs about her destiny to become the next Barbra. If she was wearing kneesocks I would have died and gone to heaven, thinking it was 2010. 

Back in Lima, the Glee club was still managing to weird it up with all of their idiosyncracies. Tina is onto the next big thing, steampunk (which I thought had already run its course- after all it was a them on an episode of America’s Next Top Model like, two seasons ago), Unique is popping pills- birth control pills, that is, Sam is pretending he has a twin brother and forgot what shampoo was, and Blaine is just putting up with all of it.

After taking the rap for Becky last week, Sue Sylvester had been replaced- by a peppier than ever Coach Roz, aka Rich Bitch Nene Lekes rocking her best finger wave. Mr Schu fell back into his pattern of giving the Glee club, once again, horribly dated overly themed numbers while Marley pined to sing her original material, circa two years ago. 

Will decided to finally put the past behind him and pay Finn a visit at college, where he had um… adjusted quite well. Finn refused to accept Schu’s apology, and for a moment I was crushed that all my former favorite Gleeks really were moving on, much like people do in real life post-high school. Tear. 

Cut to Rachel, who was preparing for her Funny Girl audition in a fury. What was the perfect song for her to sing, and more importantly, is there even a Barbra song left we haven’t heard her belt in the Lima High auditorium? One cannot solve these conundrums alone. Fortunately, Rachel’s biological mom showed up at her school in a completely different city than when we last saw her, just in time to coach her and of course, engage in a little top 40 mother/daughter duet, which I loved. That Emilie Sande number was the perfect choice for their lovely vocal blend. I swear, being in the prescence of that amount of natural talent (even on tv) is enough to make you crazy. 

Back at U of Lima, Finn and Puck were singing their freshman hearts out with a pretty good rendition of “Fight for Your Right.” My heart skipped a beat to see Finn drumming again, even thought I was a little confused how the entire frat party could hear him, sans microphone. He even out-Schued himself as the only guy in the place rocking a tie while everyone else was drenched in beer. Apparently this was a very accepting frat, as they immediately invited them to be brothers (not pledges, brothers) despite their Glee club ties and suspected homosexuality.

Marley called everyone to the auditorium for a sad song party, and they proceeded to sing about being besties forever while I tried to figure out when Marley had time to take music theory and compose harmonies while she was having an emotional breakdown with a side of bulimia. And can we agree that the song kind of sucked? I felt like it was just a sadder version of the Golden Girls theme song. Mr. Schu was doing his teacherly duty of spying on them from the wings and wondering when it was exactly that he stopped believing in his kids and their talents. For singing, not writing music of course, because let’s face it, all the original songs they’ve ever done are mediocre, at best. 

Finn was just barely attempting to plug in a computer (okay, if he can’t figure this one out, then maybe college is not for him) when Rachel called and interrupted him with a very important question… about herself. And her audition. You can take the girl out of Glee club…

Finn advised her to go back to her roots, and go back she did. With a piano bar version of the song that started it all, “Don’t Stop Believing.” As she sang, her original gang (which at first seemed like was excluding Artie, but there he was, on the sidelines again, strumming the guitar) appeared magically behind her, like a musical mirage, and for a second, I was reminded that Mercedes ever existed. It was a touching little number, although I don’t know if it really showed off her pipes the way other songs have in the past. But for nostaligic Gleeks like me, it was just what the doctor ordered. Apparently, the directors liked her, and they were kind enough to wait until she had finished to shut down the house lights. 

Despite his dream to become a teacher, Finn was already screwing up his chance by sleeping through classes and resorted to taking advice from Puck, who apparently isn’t even enrolled in school at all. 

Back at Lima High, Coach Roz was displeased at some of the Cheerios she inherited, namely Gay Blaine and Adult Baby Becky. I don’t even remember what other insults she hurled because she talked so fast. 

Mr. Schu continued to lurk around the auditorium, reveling in the days of competitions past. Finn surprised him by showing up and negotiating a deal that he would come back and help him, under one condition- he wanted to be treated like a teacher. Get over yourself, Finn. Teachers aren’t even treated like teachers, and they’ve completed more than two weeks of higher education, unlike yourself. 

Back at the ridiculously oversized Brooklyn loft, Rachel was waiting by the phone to hear the results of her throwback audition. As Kurt attempted to derail her Broadway career by stuffing her full of cookies fresh out of the oven, she got The Call. She had made it. She got a callback. Her life will never be the same. Or will it..?

Who knows where this road will take us. Now that we know Finn is going to be out soon, there’s only so much left for that storyline this season, and Brittany’s already showing! I don’t know where Ryan Murphy is taking us for the end of season four, but now that we know we get at least two more to go, there is so much that could be done. 

See you next week as we count down to the season finale!

~L