This summer was a whirlwind, filled with hours upon hours of learning the ropes at my new job, exploring the island of Nantucket and all it has to offer, and finally getting to enjoy dinner at a normal hour with my husband. But there was one moment that really knocked the wind out me and frankly, it still makes me sad to think about it. 

It’s crazy to think that, because technically this was a person I didn’t know. It happened far, far away from where I am. I guess that it doesn’t technically affect me in any way, but it still shocked me to my core. 

One late Saturday night in July, I felt compelled to check Twitter at 1 A.M. Now I’m on Twitter, but I’m not like on it to the point that I usually check it upon going to bed and waking up in the morning. As Steve lay snoozing beside me, I started seeing tweets gradually appearing claiming that a young actor in Vancouver had died of a drug overdose. I was confused, because at that moment I couldn’t think of one celebrity who was Canadian (although I know there are plenty of them). After what seemed like forever, it was confirmed that it was Cory Monteith, the 31 year-old actor best known for playing Finn Hudson on one of my all-time favorite television series, Glee. 

I was crushed. How did this happen? He had gone to rehab earlier in the year, but it wasn’t like he was Lindsay Lohan. No one really knew he had a problem. I tried to wake up Steve to tell him, and he just kind of moaned, “are you serious?” and fell back asleep. I took to the internet, hoping that someone, a fellow Gleek perhaps, would also be awake that I could commiserate with. 

I stayed up for like another hour trying to gather any info I could. It felt so weird to not know this person, yet be so invested in their story and feeling like you should have seen signs of trouble. I mean, this was someone I have never met. Even now thinking about it, it seems silly to still be this upset. But for the past few years, Glee has been a huge part of my life. Like many others, it did feel like we were friends with the kids in New Directions, if not for anything than that they reminded you of people you were actually friends with in high school. For me, a lot of what happened on that show was my life in high school, minus the teen pregnancies and singing in the hallways.

To say I’ve been kind of obsessed with Glee since its debut four years ago is kind of an understatement. I’ve liveblogged entire episodes. I made Steve dress up with me for Halloween as Finn and Rachel:

when i went to work that day, he had no costume. i came home & he had made this.

I also somehow coerced him into incorporating the theme to our holiday decor:

the “l” is for love.

Which became our Christmas card that year:

And there were multiple season premiere parties:

worst picture ever, i know. gimme a break, it was my first television premiere.

now that’s how you throw a party. a high school tv show-themed party.

Which led to more photoshoots:

let’s remember, this was pre-miley sexually harassing a foam finger days.

There was even one time that the Glee concert movie came out in 3D and we were convinced that we couldn’t watch it without the deluxe viewing package (that was a fun $30 charge to explain to Steve).
 

just when you thought it couldn’t get any cooler.

what better way to celebrate your upcoming nuptials?

But mostly it was just me, tuning into my favorite show every week, buying the cd’s and listening to them in my car every single day, defending it on the internet when people accused it of “jumping the shark” (and by people, I mean Steve). And now it was just like it had ended. Of course the show is continuing, but it will never be the same without Finn. At least, not for me. 

So in honor of Glee’s tearjerking farewell episode tonight in honor of Finn Hudson (and Cory Monteith), I wanted to share a few of my favorite performances of his over the years. 

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This was the moment that the show really shifted for me. Not in a bad way, but in a “this is what happens in real life after you graduate” kind of way. All the essential couples broke up, which resulted in one of the most touching group numbers in the show’s history. I find that this song can either be really beautiful or gut-wrenchingly sad, and in this episode, it was both. Most of it turned out to be in Finn’s imagination, but he really took the lead in this song at the beginning, and he was the one I found that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of during this performance. 

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Now we think of Kurt and Finn as brothers, so it’s hard to remember back when the show first started what an awkward relationship they had. Besides the fact that Kurt was in love with Finn, their parents ended up dating and getting married, forcing them to share a room together and admit their feelings to each other. Kurt confessed his crush as Finn quickly rejected him and called him the f-word. Things were touchy until their parent’s wedding, when Finn had a major moment of self-growth and accepted Kurt as family. Yes, it was slightly weird when Finn sang to Kurt at the wedding- isn’t this song about a girl? Wasn’t Finn supposed to be singing to his mother? But it didn’t matter. It was adorable. Rachel swooned, we swooned, and all was right in the world. 

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Let me just start out by saying that I am obsessed with the Madonna episode. It was one of the first “themed” episodes which has since been kind of driven into the ground. But then it was exciting, especially when the Queen of Pop was concerned. The thing I loved about this song is that it was definitely unexpected- of all of Madge’s hits over the years, how many people would even remember this song as being part of her expansive catalogue? After spending the majority of the episode treating the girls like crap, the guys of Glee realized the error of their ways in a five-part harmony around the piano. It was a really sweet rendition of a relatively unknown song, and little surprises like that were what made the show so special. 

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Tonight started as so many episodes have in the past- with someone from the Glee club snooping on a rival singing group. And what a surprise- it’s another former reality show wonder that has suddenly arrived on the scene!

As Mr. Schuester was warning them about their impending competition, McKinley High’s power suddenly shut down. Instead of being scared, everyone seemed super jazzed to be hanging out at school in the dark. Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t there be a small amount of concern? I mean, just a mere two weeks ago we had an almost school shooting. Despite the circumstances, the ever inept Principal Figgins decided to keep everything as it were and continue the school day. Which of course, inspired Mr. Schu with a (decent) new theme- unplugged week!

Back in the Brooklyn loft, Kurt and Rachel had an intervention with Santana, who despite their judgey-ness, was not at all embarrassed that she was working it as a cage dancer in a lesbian bar and not trying to become a Broadway star. Get it, girl. She’s nineteen- who the hell cares? I was glad to see that this sudden attack didn’t affect her sassiness, and I absolutely loved the “Run, Joey Run” reference, a la season one.

Back in the lantern-filled choir room, the Gleeks were hard at work. And by hard at work, I mean Sam made a lot of uncomfortable references to his conception and stripper past before giving an acoustic performance of “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling.” Ryder joined in uninvited, but the blend of their boy band worthy voices and leftover Bieber haircuts kind of worked. 

Artie was up next, but he’s a gangsta’ yo, and just couldn’t go on without his “synth.” Sam became frustrated by everyone’s dependency on technology and lectured them about disconnecting, which I found ironic given that practically every member the cast are diehard Twitter users in real life. 

In NYC with SJP! Who even knew that Kurt was still pretending to work at Vogue.com? His boss Isabel continued to be as lovely as ever and oddly supportive of Kurt’s school related absence, but she was very excited to have him back just in time for a huge gala teeming with celebrities and swag bags. And because we have entered a realm so far out of reality that this was “work,” he was allowed to bring extra friends to help!

Back in Sue’s new life, she was back to her angry journal-writing and seemed to have actually found a perfect new job for herself as a personal trainer. There she could scream at people that were actually paying her for her guidance and it was finally appropriate for her to wear a track suit everyday. Somehow Blaine and his sweaty mop snuck in and tried to persuade Sue to return to the halls of McKinley and save the sorry Cheerios. Sue stuck to her guns and refused, claiming she was wear she was supposed to be, which I sort of agreed. 

But why would she want to return to McKinley when THE POWER WAS STILL OUT?! It had been what, days?! 

Ryder confessed that he really wanted to “reveal” himself, and for a second I was concerned. I mean, what is left? Between teen pregnancies, questioning sexuality and gender, learning disorders, eating disorders, depression, bullying, catfishing, being differently abled- we’ve pretty much run the gambit of issues here. He sang “Everybody Hurts” which I could have sworn had already been sung (upon further investigation, I discovered it was featured on an episode of The Glee Project on his season no less), but judging from his candlelit prayer cycle, everyone was totally into it. 

All of the males in the Glee were inappropriately supportive when Ryder finally revealed that he had been molested as a preteen… by a girl. After all the things everyone in this group has been through, they couldn’t have at least feigned the tiniest bit of empathy? Oh well. I guess that’s the most realistic thing Glee has done in a while- have the boys act like complete and utter idiots, and not super-sensitive amazing boyfriends. Teen girls, that is real. Get used to it.

At Breadsticks, Kitty confessed to Ryder that not only had she broken up with Puck, but she had been through a similar situation as Ryder had when she was younger. And she admitted why she’s been a huge bitch this entire season, and as with most awful popular girls, she was clearly overcompensating for something.

Back at the auditorium, the Glee club was reveling in their technology-free lives with a Stomp-inspired rendition of “We Will Rock You.” It was kind of cool, but I just couldn’t get over that they haven’t had electricity at school for like, a week. Although we did get to see some of Jake’s awesome tap moves (?!?!?!).

On the field, Sue was hanging out in the bleachers stalking her former team. Which is weird, because since the school officials are still under the impression she fired a gun at school, you think there’d be some kind of security preventing her from coming within a certain distance. She then launched into a dream performance of “Little Girls” from Annie, which I thought was one of the most perfectly selected songs in Glee history. Especially since if you remember, Sue’s mother was played by Carol Burnett. 

At the Vogue party, Rachel and Kurt scurried around as happy little helpers and Santana sulked in the corner. SJP told her that every little girl dreams of being a ballerina (um, not true, but thanks for stereotyping) and then they all sang “At the Ballet” from Chorus Line ON STAGE. I love that song. I love all the songs from that show. And I loved seeing all of them sing in super fancy evening wear. And how appropriate that Sarah Jessica was singing the verse about not being traditionally beautiful? The whole song was just perfection. Minus the fact that it was completely unreal and that they had to cut out some of the dialogue/changed it entirely. They wrapped it up with Carrie… I mean Izzy… telling them that they were young and had plenty of time to figure out what they want to do with their lives. But if it’s doing nothing and wearing designer gowns and singing on really big stages, well then I guess they have all made it and no additional growth is necessary.

don’t get it twisted, high school seniors: this is not college. via

Back in Lima, Roz had finally had enough of Becky’s behavior (is she really allowed to call her an adult baby? Like really?) and refused to be known as an “eye farter” which for some reason, made me laugh really really hard. In an act of God, the power came back on, but there was still a lesson to be learned. So don’t plug your expensive spotlights and pyrotechnics just yet. 

In the library, Ryder was still entertaining the idea that his catfisher was the one for him, even after Kitty threw her emotionally broken self at him. Side note: I’m so glad that I have an ancient laptop in which the screen occasionally turns completely white and Ryder is using a super fancy Mac with a wireless keyboard to sext his imaginary girlfriend while he is at school. The universe is unfair. 

Finally, all was right in the auditorium. And even though they voluntarily remained unplugged, New Directions still couldn’t resist having a few snazzy lighting cues. I just have to know- is there an accapella group in existence that hasn’t sang “For the Longest Time?” I think not. 

We’re down to just a few more episodes… and shocker! Next week is another theme week. And it’s… Stevie Wonder? As much as I love me some “Superstition,” do we really have time for this? Nationals are only a few weeks away. Finn was MIA, and I don’t even remember if Brittany was shown on camera once. Is she on maternity leave already?! None of that matters though… because our girl Mercedes is back next week! And Mike Chang! Can I get a hallelujah? 

~L

Thankfully, this week’s episode of Glee started on a lighter note than the last. I think if the school violence episode had been tonight, I don’t know that I could have handled it. Instead, we got to see Finn starting his new life at the practically Ivy League University of Lima. Apparently everyone there majors in the Harlem Shake. I liked seeing Finn sort of happy, even if he is basically just a carbon copy of Will Schuester with his penchant for cardigans and messenger bags. It was there he was reunited with his former best friend/teammate/enemy/girlfriend stealer Puck, who has suddenly entered the world of college mid-semester with an equally low GPA and no explanation for how any of this is possible.

Rachel was back in all her Berry glory, doing overly confident voice overs about her destiny to become the next Barbra. If she was wearing kneesocks I would have died and gone to heaven, thinking it was 2010. 

Back in Lima, the Glee club was still managing to weird it up with all of their idiosyncracies. Tina is onto the next big thing, steampunk (which I thought had already run its course- after all it was a them on an episode of America’s Next Top Model like, two seasons ago), Unique is popping pills- birth control pills, that is, Sam is pretending he has a twin brother and forgot what shampoo was, and Blaine is just putting up with all of it.

After taking the rap for Becky last week, Sue Sylvester had been replaced- by a peppier than ever Coach Roz, aka Rich Bitch Nene Lekes rocking her best finger wave. Mr Schu fell back into his pattern of giving the Glee club, once again, horribly dated overly themed numbers while Marley pined to sing her original material, circa two years ago. 

Will decided to finally put the past behind him and pay Finn a visit at college, where he had um… adjusted quite well. Finn refused to accept Schu’s apology, and for a moment I was crushed that all my former favorite Gleeks really were moving on, much like people do in real life post-high school. Tear. 

Cut to Rachel, who was preparing for her Funny Girl audition in a fury. What was the perfect song for her to sing, and more importantly, is there even a Barbra song left we haven’t heard her belt in the Lima High auditorium? One cannot solve these conundrums alone. Fortunately, Rachel’s biological mom showed up at her school in a completely different city than when we last saw her, just in time to coach her and of course, engage in a little top 40 mother/daughter duet, which I loved. That Emilie Sande number was the perfect choice for their lovely vocal blend. I swear, being in the prescence of that amount of natural talent (even on tv) is enough to make you crazy. 

Back at U of Lima, Finn and Puck were singing their freshman hearts out with a pretty good rendition of “Fight for Your Right.” My heart skipped a beat to see Finn drumming again, even thought I was a little confused how the entire frat party could hear him, sans microphone. He even out-Schued himself as the only guy in the place rocking a tie while everyone else was drenched in beer. Apparently this was a very accepting frat, as they immediately invited them to be brothers (not pledges, brothers) despite their Glee club ties and suspected homosexuality.

Marley called everyone to the auditorium for a sad song party, and they proceeded to sing about being besties forever while I tried to figure out when Marley had time to take music theory and compose harmonies while she was having an emotional breakdown with a side of bulimia. And can we agree that the song kind of sucked? I felt like it was just a sadder version of the Golden Girls theme song. Mr. Schu was doing his teacherly duty of spying on them from the wings and wondering when it was exactly that he stopped believing in his kids and their talents. For singing, not writing music of course, because let’s face it, all the original songs they’ve ever done are mediocre, at best. 

Finn was just barely attempting to plug in a computer (okay, if he can’t figure this one out, then maybe college is not for him) when Rachel called and interrupted him with a very important question… about herself. And her audition. You can take the girl out of Glee club…

Finn advised her to go back to her roots, and go back she did. With a piano bar version of the song that started it all, “Don’t Stop Believing.” As she sang, her original gang (which at first seemed like was excluding Artie, but there he was, on the sidelines again, strumming the guitar) appeared magically behind her, like a musical mirage, and for a second, I was reminded that Mercedes ever existed. It was a touching little number, although I don’t know if it really showed off her pipes the way other songs have in the past. But for nostaligic Gleeks like me, it was just what the doctor ordered. Apparently, the directors liked her, and they were kind enough to wait until she had finished to shut down the house lights. 

Despite his dream to become a teacher, Finn was already screwing up his chance by sleeping through classes and resorted to taking advice from Puck, who apparently isn’t even enrolled in school at all. 

Back at Lima High, Coach Roz was displeased at some of the Cheerios she inherited, namely Gay Blaine and Adult Baby Becky. I don’t even remember what other insults she hurled because she talked so fast. 

Mr. Schu continued to lurk around the auditorium, reveling in the days of competitions past. Finn surprised him by showing up and negotiating a deal that he would come back and help him, under one condition- he wanted to be treated like a teacher. Get over yourself, Finn. Teachers aren’t even treated like teachers, and they’ve completed more than two weeks of higher education, unlike yourself. 

Back at the ridiculously oversized Brooklyn loft, Rachel was waiting by the phone to hear the results of her throwback audition. As Kurt attempted to derail her Broadway career by stuffing her full of cookies fresh out of the oven, she got The Call. She had made it. She got a callback. Her life will never be the same. Or will it..?

Who knows where this road will take us. Now that we know Finn is going to be out soon, there’s only so much left for that storyline this season, and Brittany’s already showing! I don’t know where Ryan Murphy is taking us for the end of season four, but now that we know we get at least two more to go, there is so much that could be done. 

See you next week as we count down to the season finale!

~L

It had been a few weeks, but now that all those teams are finished with their Final Fouring or whatever it was that took so long, Glee was finally back tonight. 

The episode started like so many had recently… minus the school violence PSA flashed across a black screen. Despite the warning, I still had no idea the direction that this episode was going to go.

Brittany began with some typical non-sensical Brittany chatter about rocks falling from the sky. She was unclear on the kind, but she had a vision- a little out there, but I guess not totally wrong- that the Gleeks were doomed. For a minute I thought we were going to lose our dear Lord Tubbington, but instead there was just a weird séance in an attempt to gain his respect back.

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So since I’ve started working a normal job and I’m essentially living alone with no access to DVR, I have been forced to try to remember my very heavy TV schedule manually. Like with my brain. I don’t even know what days my shows are on anymore.

Except Glee. How could I ever forget my favorite show about high school kids that periodically break into song in the hallways and then continue that behavior well past the age where it’s adorable?

Well while I was watching Glee in real time WITH commercials, my laptop died. Like just gave up living, right there in my lap, like it was a big budget wartime drama. We still have not determined a diagnosis. Your prayers are appreciated.

Anyway, I started my traditional live FB statuses and ended up doing a full on recap- or Gleecap, rather- in the Notes app on my iPhone. So here we are.

The theme of this episode (because apparently a regular story line just isn’t enough for a show anymore) was Guilty Pleasures. The brainchild of a sort of uncomfortable bond between Sam and Blaine, it started with what I can only describe as the gayest thing I’ve ever seen on this show, and that’s saying something. Dancing around in their sherbet colored short shorts singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” was not not my favorite number. I don’t mind a little cheese but this excuse of a guilty pleasure for Blaine won’t be making an appearance on my Spotify player anytime soon.

Despite being thousands of miles away, our NYC Gleeks were also discovering some deep dark little secrets about each other as well. When they zoomed in on Kurt pulling a box out from under his bed, I thought of a million things that could be in there other than… a man shaped body pillow. Really, Kurt? Is this how low we’ve sunk? You achieved your dream of getting into NYADA and living in a place where ascots and oversized brooches are completely acceptable for men and this is what you need to feel complete?

Rachel and Santana, in a fit of schoolgirl mischief, busted in and discovered Kurt’s super creepy bedtime accessory. All I can say is that these girls dress way sexier than I would If I lived with any of my gay friends.

We then segued to Sam continuing his what I had hoped was a joke proclamation of his love for Barry Manilow with a ruffled sleeve rendition of “Cope Cabana.” I know Glee has never been particularly accurate but the fact that they’re trying to convince me that a 15 year old in 2013 not only knows who he is but has many friends who are also fans is just ridiculous. The saving grace of this episode was the rumblings of a Spice Girl number, which these kids also shouldn’t be familiar with but I was so freaking excited I didn’t care. Jake threatened to derail this amazingness by performing a Chris Brown song, which is apparently THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN IN GLEE EVER according to the girl’s reactions. (My favorite line was when Brittany brought up the undeserving window that found itself targeted by Brown’s anger.)

The girls then got their scary on as they lectured Jake about he whose music shall not be named, where he actually made some good points that I ignored because I really do want Chris Brown to walk off the earth, and he could take Riri with him for all I care. Props to Brittany for defending Brit Brit til the end.

Kurt decided to spread the creepiness and rewarded Rachel and Santana for their invasion of privacy with their own politically correct body pillows. Santana then continued her tour of awfulness by going against Kurt’s wishes and telling Rachel the truth about Brody, which was weird and unprovoked.

Blaine then gave a stunning unautotuned rendition of “Take A Look At Me Now,” which like his piano bar “Teenage Dream” number earlier this season I really enjoyed. I wish they would do more unplugged performances where you can actually feel the emotions behind the barrage of musical numbers.

Finally, it was time for the Spice Girls number. All I can say is, Marley- you and that flat iron need to be BFF’s for life. Ugh, and could Kitty’s voice be any more annoying? She almost ruined the number for me especially since she was elected Ginger Spice, who was always my favorite. These girls obviously have never actually caught up on any real Spiceworld footage, and this was one of the most lackluster performances all season. I mean, Tina was basically asleep the entire time. And Jake turned the Gleeks around with a performance by… a song by a different but equally morally questionable Brown. In his signature Kermit voice, he warbled his way through “My Prerogative,” which only brought me back to Britney all over again.

And the hits just kept on coming. Small Wonder?! Another reference none of these kids would understand. I was alive then and I barely remember the premise of that show. Then Jake and Marley made out and everyone was over it.

The episode picked up for me when Rachel confronted Broday with her proclamation that he was “a MALE HOOKER” and she shoved money at him. She finally stopped blubbering around and grew a pair. She just admitted being in love with someone else and it’s over! But first, one last slow mo duet! A confusing, weird duet featuring running, evening wear, and Rachel and Brody taking turns scream singing while the other one was in bed. Huh?

Back at McKinley, Sam was surprisingly okay with Blaine’s crush on him and they decided that they stay best buddies. It was another lovefest back in NYC too, as Rachel forgave all of Santana’s highly inappropriate behavior just because she happen to expose that whole gigilo thing. She moved on quickly and pronounced she would nurse her broken heart by dating older guys. Right, because that worked out SO well. As if my nightmares hadn’t become real enough, they broke into a chorus of “Mama Mia”… WITH THE BOYFRIEND PILLOWS. If Steve was here he would say the shark just got jumped. Not my favorite episode.

But who am I kidding, I’ll be back next week. See you then!

~L

Ah, fall. Crisp leaves, warm apple cider. Prancing up and down rows of apple trees.

At least, that’s what I hear goes on outside come September. I wouldn’t know anything about that. Because…

IT’S TV TIME!!!

That’s like t-shirt time, but with less orange residue.

In all seriousness, I am so excited for fall television. I can’t wait to see my old friends (missed you, Schmidt) and meet someone new ones (hello, Mindy!) and prepare to say goodbye (I understand it’s time, but I’m still coming to terms with not seeing my pals at Dunder Mifflin every week). Yes, I know the weather is perfect outside. I know that normal people are tailgating at football games (ick), baking pies (which I did once and was promptly crushed when Steve “accidentally” dropped the Pyrex dish in the parking lot and DESTROYED it) and I don’t know… hiking, or something? Sorry, that’s just not my style. Yes, I know I’m dead inside. 

But seriously, I’m facing a moral and ethical dilemma. And by moral and ethical, I mean I need to somehow convince Comcast that I need more storage space on my DVR than the average person. Since their customer service representatives are clearly impervious to crying, screaming and other emotional reactions, I guess I’m going to have to be slightly sneaking in my show scheduling. 

don’t worry, claire. we’ll do this together.

Armed with my latest copy of Entertainment Weekly, I decided that the first step to solving all of my #firstworldproblem was to get organized. This is something I hear that people do with important things in their life, like bill paying. I went through and made a list of all the shows I knew I would want to see. And there were twenty four. 

I know what you’re thinking. Lindsay, that’s crazy. No sane person can watch that much television and lead a normal life. Well that was your first mistake because I am clearly not not crazy and barely anything I do can be regarded as normal. I work in retail. When you’re off on a Tuesday and the rest of the world is working, “accidentally” watching TV for eight hours doesn’t seem so pathetic… until I see it written out… just now. 

Anyway, here is my list of shows that I am going to give my life to this year. Because you really care. Also because writing it out helps my brain to start to wrap around how I can make this work. This is basically the closest I will come to performing a mathematical equation. 

Monday:
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (CBS 9.24) So I haven’t really ever been a regular viewer of this show, mainly because I started late and in no particular order have been catching up on syndicated reruns. But I did manage to catch the finale last year, mainly because I wanted to see the birth of Marshall and Lily’s baby. But now I’ve been reading that there’s a possibility this could be the last season, and of course now I have to know who the mother is. 
8:30 Partners (CBS 9.24) NEW Please just read the premise of this show and try to tell me that it’s not the story of Steve and each and every one of his gay friends. 
8:00 The Voice (NBC 9.10) If you can believe it, Steve and I actually watch this show together. So it stays. Plus I still just cannot get over the brilliance of a red spinning chair.
9:00 Two Broke Girls (CBS 9.24) Again, not a regular watcher. Just kind of catching up when I can. This one may have to wait until reruns due to the many hours of The Voice blind auditions. 
9:00 Gossip Girl (The CW 10.8) I know this show is clearly not what it used to be. But again, final season here. And other than that whore Vanessa, the original cast is still intact. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if this series does not end with a Blair and Chuck wedding.

Tuesday:
8:00 Raising Hope (Fox 10.2) I started watching this show because my mom couldn’t stop raving about the cute baby that played Hope. Steve and I both got hooked and I’ve even bought him some of the t-shirts Jimmy is seen wearing on the show. Good times. 
8:00 The Voice (NBC 9.10) I don’t understand why this is necessary, but I’m there. 
9:00 New Girl (Fox 9.25) I literally cannot wait for this show to start again. Steve and I have been talking about it all summer. Well, I’ve been talking about it and occasionally he remembers that it was funny. I am actually almost over the “Girl” because I’m so obsessed with the guys on this show. I.CANNOT.WAIT.
9:00 Happy Endings (ABC 10.23) We love this one too. Wow. I’m surprised by us. 
9:30 The Mindy Project (Fox 9.25) NEW If you’re the type of girl that read Mindy Kaling’s book, you’ve obviously been waiting for this one. I love that it’s a show about a crazy girl that also happens to be a gynecologist. Remember when they couldn’t even say the word “period” in tampon commercials? Oh, how far we’ve come. 
9:30 Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23 (ABC 10.23) Steve thinks I should let this one go. I think that anyone that watches My Deadliest Dirty Picking Job in the Yukon Swamp People Under the Bering Sea Survival Guide isn’t really in a position to make suggestions.
9:30 The New Normal (NBC 9.10) NEW So this show is going to be on Tuesdays but the pilot is getting the amazing lead in of The Voice this Monday. I know, confusing. Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out together. I’m still devastated that Glee is moving to Thursdays (more on that later) so this is going to have to fill my Tuesday Ryan Murphy void. Also I’m afraid of American Horror Story so there will be none of that. 

Wednesday:
8:00 The X Factor (Fox 9.12) One word: Britney. I am not even pretending that I remotely care about any of the contestants on this show or Simon Cowell for that matter. I am all in this for Miss Spears and whatever crazy she brings to the judges table. Which I hope is a lot. 
8:30 Guys with Kids (NBC 9.12) This one also just looks cute. I miss sitcoms. 
9:00 Modern Family (ABC 9.26) DUH. 

Thursday:
8:00 30 Rock (NBC 10.4) I cannot believe this isn’t coming back until October. Also in its last season, I’m hoping that we’ll find out early on whether or not Liz is going to get that… plant after all. 
8:00 The X Factor Results Show (Fox 9.12) Ugh. These are so dumb. Hopefully I won’t have any emotional ties to any of the contestants so that it’s unnecessary for me to watch all of these. 
9:00 The Office (NBC 9.20) I know that it hasn’t been the same since Michael Scott left, but after the announcement that this will be their final season, I know that I absolutely have to see how it ends. And how they fill the void left by Kelly Kapor. 
9:00 Glee (Fox 9.13) Let me just start off by saying that I’m a little bit mad at them for moving to Thursdays. Thursday is my most stressful TV day to begin with, and now I have to rearrange everything to make room for New Directions. And no, I don’t know what they’re going to do to work in everyone now that half the cast has graduated. As much as I would like to be bitchy girlfriends with Ryan Murphy, I can’t even pretend that I understand how they’re going to make this work, and yet people keep asking me as if I am one of the writers myself. Which I have to admit, is flattering. All I know is that every cast member is in the new promo photos so no one appears to have jumped ship yet. Whether it works is to be determined, but I’m sure I will never stop believing.
9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC 9.27) I know this show is ridiculous. But every year they keep me hooked. What could have topped the hostage situation in the hospital last year? Oh nothing, just LOSING ALMOST EVERY SURGEON IN THE WILDERNESS AFTER A PLANE CRASH. No biggie. Lexie bit it before the credits rolled and I’ve heard Mark is dunzo after just a few episodes. Throw in half a million of the rarest diseases that for some reason are all treated in this one hospital and McDreamy’s killer hair and I’m done for. 
9:30 Parks and Recreation (NBC 9.20) This is one of my favorite shows if only because it is a Cinderella story. No one expected it to last and here’s Leslie Knope, President of the United States! Okay, she’s actually some sort of elected government official, but still, if it survived its first season, who knows how far we can take this?!
10:00 Jersey Shore (MTV 10.4) Again, final season. I will shed a single tan-streaking tear when I have to bid farewell to these juiceheads. 

Friday:
8:00 Whitney (NBC 10.19) Please don’t throw things at me. I am fully owning that I am one of the few people that actually likes this show, and I was excited when they announced it was coming back, but felt I had to keep it to myself for fear of mockery from fellow pop culture junkies. Steve actually likes it too, but claims he doesn’t like her. It’s so weird that he has some connection with the monotone straight man that has somehow been tricked into dealing with some crazy chick for the rest of his life. 
8:00 America’s Next Top Model (The CW already started) I mean, c’mon. I can’t give up on Tyra and her smizing. And the booty tooching. And making your own wind, which sounds like farting, but it’s actually a very legitimate skill in the modeling world. 
8:30 Community (NBC 10.19) Oh God, I’m nervous about this one. When I first heard that this was being moved to Fridays, I was horrified. Friday is basically where TV shows go to die. I get that Community still hasn’t totally caught on mainstream, but I just cannot stand the thought of it ending so soon just because people don’t get it/can’t find it/are confused why these people haven’t graduated yet. If you’ve never watched this show, you have to. Specifically for these four episodes: Paintball (both parts), Dungeons and Dragons, the Spaceship, and the Pen. This year is starting with a Hunger Games tribute. I dare you to try to convince me that it won’t be genius. 

Saturday:
11:30 Saturday Night Live (NBC 9.15) I’m a little underwhelmed so far, only because Seth MacFarlane is slotted as the first host, and I must be the only person in the world that hates everything he touches. However I am excited for the extra prime time election specials they’ll have this fall, which I’m sure will interfere with something I’m already recording. 

Now keep in mind, this is excluding all the crappy I Didn’t Know I was a Teen Mom Pregnant with a Honey Boo Boo Child Kardashian Housewife of a Bridezilla Dance Mom that I find horrifyingly irresistible. So it’s going to be tight. 

Priorities, people. Priorities. 

~L